Colin & his fantasy life..

2004-06-12T20:01:00.000+08:00

ok.. so.. it has been such a long time since i last blogged right? haha.. can't help it lah.. been really down.. haha.. but oh well.. shall just add a short blog.. haha..

ok.. well.. it has been quite tiring for the past 2 weeks of the holidays.. wait a minute! what holiday?! crap lah.. been so busy.. but.. at least my cousin is finally staying over from tomorrow for the whole week! yeah! haha.. got company! haha.. but hmm.. nevertheless, there is still a need to study and work hard lah.. so.. go to get down to studying and allocate some time for me and him to study during the stay over.. he is a must sia.. his results aren't really encouraging! haha.. but i guess.. majority of the time would be allocated to playing bbalL! yeah! my favourite!

haha.. i think i am finally getting my bball form back or improving.. just recently played against Baey, he was selected for National trials hor! hmm.. and i can't believe it lah.. we agreed to play serious.. and yet.. i beat him! 5:0! cool right?! i don't know.. maybe he wasn't really playing seriously.. or maybe.. i have really improved that much.. i don't really know.. but 1 thing i am sure of is that i have finally improved on my basic dribbling especially my left hand.. so.. heex.. that's thanks to Marco who was the starting PG of this year! haha.. so.. yup..

haha.. ok.. i gtg lah.. about my love life? haha.. wait till i really start blogging again! haha.. Live Life TO THe Fullest! ;p

2004-06-04T20:14:00.000+08:00

Finally I am back to blog again! Haha.. it certainly has been a somewhat long period of time and well.. I guess.. lots of things have happened.. good things.. and.. well.. nevertheless there are also bad times.. I not really sure what is going on in my mind.. haiz.. so.. let’s just lay it all more or less bare and hopefully I would be able to think clearly with time to come..

Hmm.. well.. 1st of all, I am happy about the recent NBA results! Haha. Finally, then Lakers are back up there and in 14 years, the Pistons are finally up there again too.. but.. seriously, I don’t ever think that the Pistons can ever beat this present Lakers team.. it’s true that their defence is the best in the league.. but hell! Lakers has like 4 legendary players in their team! The best center in the league in O’Neal, best power forward, Malone.. crap.. with veterans like Payton and the present generation Jordan in KOBE BRYANT! Do you honestly think that Rasheed, Ben and Rip can ever beat such a wonderful team?! Haha.. well.. NO! the ending of the playoffs shall prove it all! The Lakers will endure and win the Championship for the 4th time in 5 years!

Haiz.. the school holidays has finally reached and well.. though it certainly has been much anticipated and much awaited.. I’ve been really tired and I guess.. somewhat stressed.. crap lah! It’s so damn different from the Secondary school system.. whereby in the holidays still can slack at least 2+ weeks.. now.. have to have PW meetings, school remedial and trainings for both my CCAs ever so regularly.. it’s so damn tiring trying to juggle all the obligations and duties.. it’s going to be hard to settle.. oh.. I pray to God that he gives me the strength and energy to survive this whole school year! Damn.. Basketball training is like how cool lah.. though I was in for a rough start, not doing up to expectations, I am happy that at least now I have coped more or less.. made new friends.. the whole team is even more bonded than CO lah! Crap.. even though there are many new intakes for both CCAs, crap.. I feel more comfortable in bball than in CO lah.. the camp ain’t doing much either loh.. as in the CO camp.. the overall IC for this camp is just.. so.. alamak! Can’t find a suitable word to describe lah.. not that I personally have a problem with him.. but rather.. many people are unhappy with him too.. just.. they don’t there to speak up against him.. cause.. he is.. extremely STUBBORN and.. DOMENEERING!!! I bet he is like a D or something like that for his damn DISC personality.. crap.. let’s leave it as that lah..

Well.. let’s see.. School work has been quite fun lah.. though I haven’t really gotten down into studying for my terms but rather.. I’ve just briefly studied a little bit.. just like glimpse through.. just don’t feel like doing any of my holiday assignments at the moment.. they seem like diseases that I don’t even want to touch with a damn bamboo pole lah! Crap.. oh well.. anyway.. so many people are having camps or are overseas.. seriously wonder how people are actually going to complete their work.. I bet most of them would be likely rushed during the last week of this holiday terms.. sian don’t you think? Oh well.. think I’ve got to start somewhere soon.. haiz..

Haha.. oh! Guess what! I am super happy that my basketball basics has improved.. or rather.. people have told me so.. in the bball team, I’ve learnt new things as well.. so.. hopefully with more time, I’ll improve as well.. and apply them or incorporate them into my team trainings.. haha.. I finally beat Baey soundly! Hmm.. he was training for National team lah! Haha.. I am so happy! Heex.. just a few days ago, I beat him 5-0.. now our win records stands at 3:2 with me leading by 1! Haha.. anyway.. I’ve got to work more so that I can be much better than what I am presently..

Ok.. let’s see.. I can’t really think of anymore to say lah.. except regarding my feelings for HER.. I mean.. I really don’t know lah.. I do know more or less how she feels about me.. but.. I am not going to say lah.. but.. I feel like I am not doing enough to deserve any thing at all from her.. well.. let’s just say that at the moment, I am at my wits end.. am so very tired.. planned something to do with her.. yet, I am afraid that she or I will not be free on that particular day.. besides, at the moment, I’m having a somewhat problem with cash flow.. parents are being really strict about my cash stuff.. haiz.. I don’t know.. I hope that all these problems would sort out soon enough.. cause.. well.. yeah.. I really like her a lot.. and.. just really wish that we could get together lah.. I know I sound really desperate.. but.. I guess.. everyone who thinks this is right.. I AM desperate.. not to get just any girl, but rather desperate to win the heart of this girl whom I have seen as THE PERFECT ONE in my life.. nevertheless, I will not give up.. will keep trying.. I pray for blessings and good luck.. cause.. I am hoping that we 2 really work out.. yeah.. and I dare to swear lah.. that I am being truthful about her.. man.. I don’t know leh.. I think I am being overly sensitive or something.. at times, I think I really shouldn’t dwell to much into this feelings.. cause, the more I ‘spend time’ with her, or rather.. as time passes.. the more I fall deeper into my feelings for her.. well.. I also realised this lah.. I have friends who suan and jack me all the time, and well.. I know they are joking, so I don’t take it to heart.. but somehow or another.. I think it’s just me being sensitive.. but when she jack me or suan me, I will start to think things true as well as process the whole thing before I really brush it off.. I don’t know since when did whatever she think of me become so important and vital in my life.. I realised that I hold her opinion as the number 1 to me.. why? I guess, it’s simply because, that’s how much she means to me.. a person that I can’t not care about nor can I go about without thinking of her.. haha.. crazy? Mad? Yeah.. simple over her.. but.. I need to control this emotions.. really need to.. otherwise.. the whole thing may simply fall through, and.. she and I would just end up as nothing.. something, that I sincerely don’t want to see happen.. cause.. yeah.. I wish we would work out..

Ok.. I think that is enough for right now.. so.. I got to go already.. Live Life To The Fullest! ;p

2004-05-23T21:25:00.000+08:00

wow! it's a brand new tym.. heh.. yup.. it has been far too long and ages since i last blogged! haha.. well.. things have been happening.. ups and downs.. and oh well.. got to just let it out somewhere lah.. so here i am.. whining and droning about life.. :(

well.. 1st things 1st.. school is super stressed compared to secondary school! ARGH!!! i never did study so much as i did for the 5 months here than my Secondary School life! Man! i didn't even study this much when it came down to the bloody 'O's! wah lau.. hmm.. anyway.. i've been coping relatively ok lah.. not exactly happy especially with regards to my Geography.. hmm.. i really studied for the test.. but.. apparently not that well neither is it enough lah.. applied the wrong info for the wrong questions and answered some of the questions wrongly.. so what did i get.. a wonderful, blooming result of 5!!! yeah.. it's only 1/4 of the damn full score..

hmm.. anyway, i didn't make it to Council as predicted.. haha.. so damn expected lah.. but.. hell.. got nominated into Geography Society.. for God knows why lah! hmm.. it was a surprise especially since i never did consider myself as well liked or seen as a responsible person in Mr Lynn's eyes lah.. haiz.. oh well.. hmm.. but.. anyway.. another big decision.. i quit.. X-country.. yup.. it was a really hard and difficult decision to make.. it was really hard making it.. but under pressure from both my parents and my depressing results which includes the long term injuries that i may sustain.. i had to quit it lah.. haiz.. when i went to see Mr Ang, or rather Coach.. i nearly cried.. was damn.. upset about it.. but.. hell.. got to buck up and move on! anyway.. i believe i can train by myself.. but.. than.. still.. not much worth lah..

so.. i joined.. BASKETBALL!! haha.. yup! basketball.. finally, after hesitating for so damn bloody long.. i decided to join it! haha.. funny? yup.. i guess so lah.. considering my lack of height.. but hell.. i am going to try anyway.. but.. not aiming to get into the team, cause i got to settle my own team 1st.. heex.. ooh ooh! finally getting back my form.. at least for shooting that is.. but.. my speed, steals, lay-ups.. passes are still not up to standard.. crap lah.. really must work on them again.. oh please give me the strength and endurance to do it well!!!

haha.. yeah well.. regarding.. my love life? hmm.. nothing much lah.. or rather.. prefer to keep it quiet.. no point blowing it up again right? haha.. but crap lah.. am feeling the need to work damn hard for her.. really.. want to make it and do well.. yup.. hmm.. so.. i am going to give my best to convince her.. heex.. anyway.. yeah.. if it works out.. i'll put it up.. or.. we'll see how lah.. haha.. but.. even though my love life is quiet! haha.. i found out so many many scandals.. surprisingly, most of them come from the AH classes lah! haha.. but.. ssh.. heex..

ok.. got to go liao.. need to start work again.. before i die horribly.. take care yeah! haha.. smiles! Live Life To The Fullest! ;p

2004-05-03T20:38:00.000+08:00

haha.. it has been 2 long a tym lah! can't remember d last tym tt i actually put smething up here! well.. really sorry.. been really busy! haha.. well.. nothing much has been happening lah basically.. xcept tt i m an overall happier person if not juz stressed..

anyway, just had track and field meet a few weeks ago.. and hey.. it was quite entertaining.. i mean yeah.. you could feel the AC spirit prevalant in d whole event.. not juz d runners but oso in d spectators! haha.. yeah well.. i wish we had more speciall events lyk dis in tym 2 come.. well. basically, i os realised tt it has been such a long tym since i actually went 4 X-country training 2! haha.. well.. i went 4 1 juz last wk n i guess.. it was relatively enjoyable lah.. if not 4 my injuries.. screw it.. oh well.. neway.. i didn't go 2day either.. coz still not feeling well.. oh well.. haha.. neway rite.. i blieve tt d sport tt i love the most now is probably basketball! it was d 1st tym i felt so happy playing it.. xpecially since.. haha.. nvm.. let every1's thots wander..

oh well.. hmm.. academics, has been a side where things hv been goin quite tough! crap! i better wrk harder lah! its lyk.. every1 is wrking so hard! n seriously.. i think i need 2 put in more effort that i m putting! oh well.. jia you! haha.. okok.. i m crapping again! haha.. hmm.. well.. at least i can cope n complete most of my wrk on tym now.. heex.. neway.. gonna hv a Geog test dis wk n crap lah! i m so not prepared 4 it! only studied lyk half of it so far! ARGH... damn it..

heex.. neway.. hmm.. regarding my love life or rather.. regarding.. lala.. it's been goin quite alrite lah.. yup.. it doesn't matter actually, coz no matter wad.. i m goin 2 give my all so tt i can win her heart in d end.. coz.. she's d one tt i noe i hv oways been lking 4.. so.. gonna wrk 2 win her over n gain her trust n faith! Live Life To The Fullest! ;p

2004-04-29T21:19:00.000+08:00

woah.. it certainly has been a long tym since i last wrote.. but oh well.. i think im goin 2 keep dis short lah.. been so damn bloody busy lah.. crap.. but well.. things hvn't been goin so well 4 d class as a whole.. considering tt our class kanna 'takan' by Mr Lynn lyk dunno how long lah.. haiz.. wish tt our class was more responsive in class.. its really imp lah.. well.. hope tt we can do much better! so.. every1 in present day 1AA1! lets give it our best!

neway.. hmm.. bsides tt.. i guess.. things wif Shane now is better lah.. learnt how 2 let certain things go ignored n learnt how 2 accept certain things.. its Shane's character n well.. it's wad makes him.. him.. so now.. all is well wif every1 liao.. neway.. i dunno how things in life has been lah.. well.. i really dunno leh.. been really confused.. coz.. haiz.. i guess i really dunno how Kelly feels abt me lah.. yeah lah..

haiz.. well.. yeah.. hope tt things would turn out well.. dis is d tym whereby i really will give my best n wun back out nemore.. i will persevere 4 d sake of dis n juz give it my all now.. hope tt in future, both of us can make it.. oh well.. see how it goes lah..

ok.. gonna go liao.. trying 2 live life to the fullest! ;p

2004-04-23T22:00:00.000+08:00

wow.. it has been so long since i last blogged hasn't it?! haha.. yeah well.. ok.. my laugh is so damn hyprocritical.. well.. in actual fact.. i m feeling quite lost.. not sure wad 2 do lah.. haiz.. i oso dunno y lyk tt loh.. but will talk abt it later..

ooh.. class has bcome so big n noisy! haha.. its quite buzzing wif xcitement now! haha.. i lyk it dis way.. noisy.. so can disturb teachers n each other more.. but its quite scary coz most of d pple study lyk crazy lah! haha.. yeah.. but erm.. im guilty of d crime as well.. haha.. oh well.. i think ever since i came 2 JC life.. i've been studying more den i've 4 my 4 yrs in sec sch lah! haha..

neway.. had lyk 2 tests dis wk.. i noe its not as much as d Sci pple n stuff.. but hell its damn crap lah! wah lau.. im gonna die 4 maths! really shit sia.. its lyk.. grr.. dunno how 2 settle it loh.. yup.. haha.. but thx gosh i wasn't d only 1 who found it hard.. but.. i hv a 40-60 chance of passing it.. so im really crossing my fingers, hoping tt i can pass lah! haha.. yup.. n 2day, had Chinese test.. it was lyk.. relatively easy lah! i xpected it 2 b much harder den d last tym.. but mayb coz i studied a little, it wasn't tt bad as xpected.. hmm.. but i kinda feel quite upset 4 those who found it hard.. hey guys, cheer up n jia you k..

haha.. i passed my GP test! super tyco lah! nehow do n nv complete it oso pass! thx gosh sia! but i think its not gd enuf.. better start wrking harder n stop Procrastinating lah.. haiz.. haha.. yup.. neway.. really happy i passed it lah.. was thinking tt im goin 2 flunk it really badly n stuff.. haha.. oh well.. neway.. crap lah.. still got lyk 2 geog essays 2 hand up by Mon! argh! haha.. its lyk.. damn cramped n stuff.. crap.. dun feel lyk doin! but luckily i did d 1st 1 oready.. haha.. but im goin 2 redo it coz it doesn't lk gd enuf.. oh well.. yup.. i bet other pple r thinking tt im crazy.. but i need d grades man..

haiz.. ok.. yeah well.. not feeling really happy rite now on d overall actually.. i oso cant really xplain y.. its lyk.. i dunno leh.. mayb its juz me.. mayb.. its juz everything tt has been happening arnd life.. but heck lah.. not goin 2 emphasise so much abt it lah.. coz.. we muz oways hv a healthy n positive outlook on life rite?! yeah well.. but im quite bottled dwn by probs lah.. hmm.. i think its more on d affairs of the heart coz i think considering my past history.. i appear 2 b a real flirt.. but wah lau.. pple can really change loh.. im serious abt dis 1.. so yeah.. oh well.. juz hope tt tym will tell everything..

2004-04-16T21:36:00.000+08:00

ookay.. d chatterbox thing got kinda out of hand.. i really needed 2 get rid of it.. its amazing how many pple actually noes ur blog when they dun really noe u! man.. its scary! ok.. is my blog seriously tt scandalous or juz simply interesting 2 use 2 jack me wif? okok.. i guess its both rite? oh well.. i cant help it.. neither can i really change it lah.. hmm.. neway.. yeah.. Nartz i so agree wif ya.. i think i told 1 too many pple.. hmm.. but.. its sumthing tt i really cant change nemore!

oh! haha.. yeah.. neway.. wanna clarify sumthing! Shane sorry yeah.. sorry 4 d misunderstanding! heex.. was my fault.. sorry.. hmm.. k.. erm.. let me c.. wad else.. Nartz, hope tt ya get well soon yeah.. or at least.. sort out ur thinking soon.. coz.. its kinda weird not 2 hv ya in class! haha.. its sumhow.. really quiet wifout ya.. swimming carnival was held 2day.. it was.. sian.. yeah.. d 1st part of it was really sian.. but sumhow as d day went by n tym flew by, it got more interesting as d fun stuff took place.. haha.. n being d xtra tt i m.. of course i took part in sumthing lah! haha.. it was the rubber float rescue thingy! haha.. didn't xpect it, but we as d makeshift team actually won 3rd prize! so tyco! haha.. yup.. we were lyk damn shocked tt we won smething lah.. ooh! Gary n Estelle r really great n fab swimmers! winning so many prizes 2day! haha.. neway.. hope tt every1 else in d swim team would wrk hard n b great swimmers 2.. den in future, we shall den b able 2 win d Swmming nationals! haha..

well.. its funny! i got complains abt Lance! n believe it anot.. its frm me dis tym.. but frm others who noes him.. yup.. but.. hmm.. i guess sumtyms its not really surprising considering his past track record.. but i blieve tt he will improve wif tym.. so lets all b patient n tolerant.. but if it really gets out of hand.. we hv 2 do sumthing abt it lah.. yup.. hmm.. its been a long tym since we ACS (Barker Road) pple actually came 2gether as a grp.. n 2day was certainly a nice 1 whereby we got a chance 2 chat, b ourselves n juz shit arnd..

hmm.. yeah well.. saw Kelly 2day.. was really happy 2 c her.. yet.. now.. its kinda awkward 2 talk 2 her n stuff.. considering d fact tt dis thing is spreading arnd so much n fast.. i really dunno how 2 save the situation nemore.. shit lah.. y did dis hv 2 happen?! i mean.. i really m serious abt her.. n 2 think tt it was the blog tt actually caused dis misfortune 2 occur.. haiz.. i dunno lah.. m damn comfused n my mind is in a whirl rite now.. shit.. oh 4 heavens sake.. sum1 plz help me.. i dun wanna change my blog, neither do i wanna lock it up.. but.. neither do i wanna let dis stuff spread arnd so fast tt its demeaning me.. haiz.. i dunno leh.. i really lyk Kelly.. but.. haiz.. leave it b lah.. c how it goes frm now on.. ;p

2004-04-15T20:05:00.000+08:00

ookay.. haha.. d chat box thing was such a wrong idea.. hmm.. i dunno.. mayb it was productive.. mayb it wasn't.. hmm.. well.. whoeva u guys ah.. thx.. haha.. it at least gave me a chance 2 try out smething new.. n 4 those who helped me.. thx.. hmm.. oh.. 2 annonymous.. thx 4 being such a nice person.. indeed.. shouldn't b blabbering much.. but hell.. i think rite.. u should lk at urself b4 criticising others.. coz.. at least i noe tt i got lots of faults n i openly admit dem.. yet.. u r so sad.. can't even let ur name b none 2 d rest.. oh well.. guess it takes more den wad u hv doesn't it? oh btw.. thx 4 letting me noe how 2 spell her name properly.. haha.. coz.. her frenz did tell me d wrong spelling.. so oh well.. can't really blame me.. but its my partly fault 4 not checking.. neway.. can't take criticism much n coz.. its so hyprocritical when pple fail 2 lk at demselves b4 lking at others.. so.. yeah..

hmm.. oh yeah.. sorry Wonus.. heex.. coz.. her frenz told me 2 pronouce it as Vonus.. so i kinda had d impression tt it was spelt tt way.. hmm.. yup.. neway.. its kinda weird lah.. how i juz comment on certain things n pple can lk at it dif.. guess.. it opened my eyes n let me c tt in d world dere r so many pple wif shallow thots? y is it tt when pple comment on how other pple lks, they would immediately think tt dis pple r actually thinking of hving sumthing wif dem? hmm.. its lyk.. wads up wif tt idea man? whoeva has dis idea is kinda shallow lah.. isn't it possible 2 juz admire or juz think sum1 lks cute or is gd lking? whoeva thinks lykwise.. i think its really shallow.. lk in2 urselves n c.. r u sure tt u dun do dis as well? how many can dclare tt they dun do dis at all? oh well.. lets not go on abt those wif a child lyk mindset..

hmm.. well.. finally made up my mind.. i m really gonna try out 4 council dis tym.. but.. hmm.. dunno how its gonna b.. yup.. d procedure 2 sign up itself is really quite a bit of wrk.. hmm.. but gonna wrk hard on it.. yup.. heex.. neway.. got lotsa wrk 2 cover.. so gonna do it soon lah.. yeah.. gotta go soon.. hmm.. but i guess.. still got smethings on my mind.. haha.. yeah well.. im quite worried abt d council thing leh.. as in.. d interviews if i even make it tt far.. but nvm.. not gonna give up.. gonna keep trying 4 it! haha..

ooh man.. im so happy.. well.. not juz me.. k.. Shane has finally toned dwn a bit! gosh.. its a blessing lah! d grp of us were lyk.. hey! his pretty quiet 2day.. n 4 once.. pretty much sociable.. hope it continues lyk tt.. coz.. its dis kinda attitude tt is more note worthy n whereby we as frenz can talk 2 him more n communicate wif him more.. gd job Shane! haha.. oh.. n yes.. annonymous.. i think its understood tt i complain alot abt Shane.. but isn't tt wad a blog 4? 2 show how 1 feels abt sumthing in his/her life? or.. perhaps.. u dun grasp tt concept as well? isn't it quite funny how u end up jacking urself? neway.. Shane.. hmm.. i dunno leh.. he's still quite a mystery.. 1 whereby.. u can tell his a really straight4ward n blunt kinda person.. but.. hmm.. u nv noe lah.. neway.. we'll c how it wrks out 2 b lah.. deres after all..1+yr left!

To Kelly:
oh well.. hmm.. Kelly.. wadeva it is lah.. im gonna let u choose which 2 blieve.. if u choose 2 blieve whoeva was tt who said tt i most lykly wasn't serious abt u.. den.. well.. i really cant do much.. coz.. its ritefully ur choice.. n well.. 1 can't Love 2 order.. n basically.. i dunno whether its really u who typed d msg.. so im juz gonna leave it b 1st lah.. but neway.. i'll still b here no matter wad.. hmm.. i juz hope tt u'll understand tt im being really serious abt dis.. as in.. i really wan us 2 wrk out lah.. but.. i'll leave it entirely up 2 ur hands.. wadeva it is lah.. take care n keep smiling! i'll oways b here 4 u Kelly.. yup.. but.. juz gonna keep my fingers crossed.. hoping 4 d day tt u'll really b able 2 accept me..

2004-04-14T18:33:00.000+08:00

Woohoo! haha.. yeah! finally! d CO Welcome Tea is over! haha.. yup! even thou im saddened by d poor turn out.. but.. i think tt overall, it was a success in d sense tt those in CO (who came) bcame closer whereas those who did turn out could actually tell tt CO wasn't has bad as most pple thot! haha.. neway.. yup.. finally d stress of it all is relieved n i dun ever hv 2 worry abt it again.. UNLESS.. i m in d committee again nxt yr.. den.. hmm.. tt'll b a dif case! heex..

well.. class dis days r juz getting more n more tiring lah.. its lyk.. wrk is now coming n d pace is moving faster! haah.. but.. i think its oso getting more interesting as we move further in2 our Lit txts n stuff! haha.. yup.. n d class.. seems 2 b getting closer sumhow.. dunno how 2 dscribe it but.. yeah.. it seems tt way.. mayb coz of d tym factor n we had more tym 2 get 2 noe each other! haha.. yup.. neway.. its quite interesting tt dere can still b conflicts tt happen quite often, yet thru all dis.. we still get closer n get 2 noe & understand each other better now.. haha.. yeah well.. i hv a conflict wif Shane lah.. im gonna admit it.. he pisses me off all d tym.. its lyk.. telling him 2 stop it doesn't wrk lah.. being nice n understanding doesn't wrk either.. its lyk.. sorry 2 say it.. but sumtyms he has no limits lah.. but.. i guess.. lyk Yong Xi said, we muz b accommodating.. so.. haiz.. wad 2 do but control loh.. oh well.. yeah.. neway.. it puts pple off at tyms n im not d only 1 complaining lah.. so yeah.. juz hope he can lyk change a little n b more understandning n thoughtful.. sensitive.. haiz..

haha.. ooh! i think Sherry is damn nice leh! i mean.. d 1 frm AA2! haha.. yeah.. she's lyk great 2 chat n stuff.. but den.. i dun really understand y she wanna go poly leh.. i think its quite a waste lah.. she seems quite smart n im sure she can make it.. hmm.. mayb wad she needs rite now is tym n juz.. 2 settle in lah.. hope tt pple can encourage her n stuff.. oh oh! Vonus (dunno how 2 spell her name properly) join X! haha.. yes! d resident chio bu of AA2 join X! i cant blieve it! haha.. so interesting! haha.. neway.. no.. im not interested in either of dem.. so yeah.. dun wan pple 2 get d wrong idea.. so muz clarify! haha.. yup.. but juz think they r really cute n stuff lah..

Yay! i got 2 c Kelly 2day! m so very happy! haha.. lalaloox! im in a state of bliss! haha.. yup! haha.. neway.. hmm.. i dunno leh.. really lyk her alot loh.. dere's dis undscribable feeling wheneva i c her.. its lyk.. sumthing special in me would click n juz start a whole chain reaction n juz causes me 2 loss all my senses! yes.. i noe tt it sounds really impossible n lyk im juz crapping lah.. but.. im being serious loh.. really sincere abt dis relationship.. really wan it n hope tt it wrks out.. hmm.. but.. Kelly damn funny lah.. i told her tt i miss her.. den she tell me dun joke loh, coz i saw her juz lyk half an hr ago.. is it not possible? i mean.. yeah loh.. when i dun get 2 c her nor spend tym wif her.. i miss her.. its juz a fact wad.. haiz.. i wish i could convince her lah.. coz.. its really true tt i miss her n lyk her alot.. yup.. hmm.. let me think of a way.. but at d moment.. juz hope tt everything is goin swell 4 her.. n tt she'll take gd care of herself as she keeps smiling n being happy! haha.. ooh.. actually, i really kinda wish 2 noe how she really feels abt me lah.. haha.. yup.. really m curious 2 find out.. coz i lyk her alot.. but actually.. no matter wad.. i dun think im ever gonna give up on dis relationship thing.. coz.. i really lyk her far 2 much 2 give up.. so till den.. hope tt she noes tt i'll oways b dere 4 her no matter wad.. ;p

To Kelly:
Sitting here,
Looking out there,
All i can do is think about you..

Through the hours,
Pass the rainfalls,
I'll brave anything,
Just for you..

Missing you,
Thinking of you,
Are these the signs that show
That i love you?

2004-04-13T21:11:00.000+08:00

ok.. basically.. dis nxt blog is basically meant 4 Kelly lah.. yes.. d Kelly tt i lyk..

Here i lie,
Pondering on thy bed,
Thinking, wondering n missing thy dame..
Secs, mins, n hrs go by,
As thots of u fly..
In my mind,
Its you whom my heart bind..

Heya! Actually, i was lying on d bed at lyk 1AM+, juz thinking of stuff n its funny tt i realised tt most were abt u..yr smile, ur eyes n juz even ur voice, captivates my heart n my whole being leaving me wifout any chance of resisting.. All i can say is tt i miss u quite alot xpecially since dis past few days, i've not been able 2 c u much.. so i guess d poem n stuff (thou it sux, i noe) is juz a brief way of showing how much i miss u.. n 2 show how much u mean 2 me lah.. but d full xtent of it can nv b dscribed by words nor by actions alone.. so yeah.. basically, i cant use nething 2 fully show how i feel 4 u.. neway, juz noe tt..

I'll oways b here 4 u,
Thru thick n thin,
Faith n sin,
My heart is oways here lyk ur skin..

haha.. y skin? well.. coz, its part of d body.. n tts how i wanna b 2 u.. close n oways dere 4 ya.. oways being here n dere 4 ya..

I told u once,
I told u twice,
I'll tell u many tyms,
Tills its a crime.

I'll always be here 4 u,
Frm nite 2 dawn,
Thru 'jack' n thorn,
Juz being here 4 u,
Till probs all gone..

yup.. neway.. i'll b dere 4 u no matter wad happens n no matter when or where.. coz.. simply saying.. i Like YOU! yupz.. take good care of yourself.. remember, if u ever need nething.. i'll b here.. juz buzz me.. keep smiling n b ur cheerful self! Live Life To The Fullest! *hugs* ;p

2004-04-13T20:56:00.000+08:00

Wow! haha.. d days been damn slack lah.. nothing much 2 say dis few days n stuff.. shit lah.. haha.. i need things 2 spice up my life! haha.. oh well.. lalaloox.. i think tt im goin crazy again! haha.. neway.. hmm.. got sum updates lah! ooh ooh! haha.. i found out smething really surprising! Chris told me dis! haha.. we was walking 2 sch 2day, n apparently, dere were 2 gals who were talking abt my blog! haha.. n he didn't noe dem at all! haha.. is it true?! hmm.. i dun understand how many pple actually would noe me or my blog lah.. so.. plz.. whoever does noe me n my blog.. juz tell me.. den i really wun get super confused or smething.. haha.. oh! tml got CO welcome tea! everybody, plz come! plz come.. spent so much tym organising it.. plz come leh! ;p

haha.. oh! oh! Sue-wen is in my class! yeah! haha.. now my class got 4 members frm d same OG! haha.. Sue-wen, Kelly Ang, Michelle Wong n me! haha.. n Val has Matthew in her class! haha.. i think erm.. Andrew and VJ r still in d same class.. its quite coincidental lah! haha.. neway.. i think its gonna b better now! haha.. as in d class lah.. hmm.. at least we can crap more n gossip more! haha.. i think i really turning in2 sum bimbo or sumthing lah! haha.. but who cares lah.. it fits in n i mix arnd wif d gals lah! haha.. as in.. get 2 gossip alot! haha.. add spice 2 my life! n get 2 hv more info n stuff! haha.. damn funny loh..

oh.. yeah.. m d secretary 4 PW 2.. its quite.. erm.. 'FUN'! haha.. its so stupid.. write write write.. aiyo.. haha.. but its ok lah.. at least i get 2 contribute 2 d grp! haha.. my grp is a really great bunch of pple! haha.. got Cheryl, Hiro, me n AUDREY! haha.. Audrey is really damn hyper lah! she brings life 2 d grp.. think tts gd.. Cheryl is 1 hardwrking gal! haha.. n Hiro.. erm.. let me think.. will tell u in future.. gives lots of crappy ideas tt make pple laugh! haha..

hmm.. well.. i missed d CO meeting 2day.. wasted! Rob me of my chance 2 c.. Kelly.. haiz.. feel damn sad n dpressed lah.. its been nearly a wk since i last saw her.. i mean.. yeah.. miss her lots lah.. its quite.. aiyo.. dunno how 2 dscribe.. oh well.. i wanna c her!

2004-04-12T21:10:00.000+08:00

aiyo! haha.. i juz spoke 2 Eunice 2day.. n no.. its not d CO wan.. wah lau.. i found out tt she noes my blog n reads it 2 lah! haha.. actually its ok lah.. but im really surprised regarding how many pple actually read my blog.. hmm.. its quite weird lah.. but i really dun mind.. in future thou.. i wish tt pple would juz simply tell me tt they read my blog.. haha.. at least give me fair warning b4 we lyk start talking n den suddenly smething frm d blog comes out of d blue! haha..

neway.. X training was damn slack even thou i didn't complete it thx 2 my leg.. well.. erm.. i spoke 2 Eunice n wow.. learnt quite alot lah! haha.. yeah.. hmm.. well.. i can tleak out other details.. but haha.. i found out tt she & Reina has been frenz 4 lyk 11yrs! since P2! haha.. wow! tts really damn long lah! wah lau.. hmm.. yeah.. talked 2 her abt sum other things 2.. n i guess.. told her smethings tt i didn't tell others lah.. haha.. bsides tt.. i think everything else in my life is really open.. xpecially in my relationship sector! haha.. hmms.. well.. actually.. k lah.. hvn't really gotten over Reina.. but goin 2 do so.. soon.. i hope..

ooh ooh! i omost 4got! haha.. Jasmine, Doreen n Si Jia r in ACJC as well! haha.. been seeing dem arnd.. but nv really recognise dem.. i damn helpless rite?! haha.. neway.. its nice 2 noe tt they r here 2.. even thou we dun talk much.. but at least got more friendly faces lah! haha.. ooh.. juz a side comment.. i think Doreen got cuter.. or mayb its juz me lah.. heh heh.. hmm.. my PW grp rocks lah! haha.. i mean.. k.. not so on n stuff.. but its gd tt we can get along 2gether pretty well.. n well.. its gd tt every1 noes when n where 2 do things.. go tt priority stuff goin on n im sure it'll help us along d way! haha.. yeah!!!

neway.. really hope tt Kelly n i wrk out lah.. its lyk.. i really feel smething 4 her.. n no, its lyk coz of d fact tt Reina rejected me or nething.. but genuinely feel smething 4 her lah.. nething.. juz gonna wrk on it lah.. haha.. really crossing my fingers n praying loh.. pray 4 me 2 yeah? lol.. ok.. i gtg liao.. hvn't really eaten nething since dunno how long ago.. go n eat dinner now.. lalaloox.. Live Life To The Fullest! ;p

2004-04-11T20:11:00.000+08:00

yay hay! haha.. its Easter! it was a rather wonderful Easter 4 me in fact! Haha.. i mean bsides d fact tt i had 2 go 4 tuition n cut grass as well as swp d flr lah.. haha.. but overall it was great xpecially when i spent d morning of it in church! haha.. had my 1st Sunday Class lesson as well! yeah! haha.. really m very happy abt it leh! haha.. neway.. nv did realsie dere was so many AC pple in BRMC! haha.. its lyk d whole place dere were ruled by ACJC pple! haha.. so lots of familar faces! haha.. neway.. yeah.. i think d sunday class tt im attending presently is quite fun n its really meaningful 2 learn more abt Chritianity n abt Christ in dis manner!

haha.. neway.. i think ah.. Chelsea is quite funny lah.. dun understand her.. neda stay away frm her coz she n i r 2 close 4 comfort.. dun wan pple 2 get d wrong idea when clearly nothing is goin on btw us nemore.. ever since d mid of last yr.. we were lyk.. over each other oready! haha..neway.. d coincidence is tt Victoria (Nartz fren) is actually her cousin! wah lau.. its a shocking thing lah! they seem so very much dif! omg.. i was lyk super stunned when she said tt loh.. haha.. neway.. i think rite.. having tuition wif Chelsea is quite distracting coz we end up talking 2 each other den really studying.. haha.. bsides tt.. nothing else lah.. but tuition 2day was really boring n dwn lah.. was falling aslp lyk d whole tym! n i did it blatantly in frnt of lao shi loh.. haha..

ooh.. tml goin back 2 sch liao! haha.. i really dunno u noe.. dunno whether or not 2 stick wif X.. coz.. i mean.. i really wanna stay dere n i lyk it alot.. yet.. im really afraid tt it mite really injure my leg 2 much n b 2 tiring 4 me.. i noe tt Council will b really stressful but i reckon tt it doesn't hv trainings lyk 4 days a wk! i lyk n love X.. but.. sumtyms, u get really tired n sian of it loh.. as in.. dun feel lyk training so much when d season is over! shit lah.. muz really consider n c how it goes lah..

anyway.. i think wad made me d most happy was tt.. tml.. i can at least hv a chance 2 see Kelly! haha.. i really miss her alot lah.. i dunno y d feelings r so strong leh.. i mean.. i nv did realise tt it was gonna b lyk tt.. xpecially since i didn't admit till lyk late last mth.. i didn't noe it could b dis strong.. basically, i juz miss her alot loh.. yeah.. hope 2 noe her better n den we can mix wif each other better.. k.. tt didn't come out rite.. i mean it as wish tt we can at least talk n understand each other much better.. think tt she is really quite cute n gd lookling as well leh.. but.. d most attractive thing n alluring thing of her is her attitude.. her carefree n outgoin ways r really attractive as her straight4wardness wifout bluntness is admirable as its hardly ever done or accomplished.. neway.. juz gonna c how it goes lah.. coz.. juz wish tt we can really wrk out.. ;p

2004-04-10T19:38:00.000+08:00

yowzi! haha.. i dunno where did tt come frm.. but oh well.. haha.. neway.. dere isn't much 4 me 2 say 2day lah.. but neway.. its been a long tym since i actually WROTE my own personal diary.. better write an entry 1 of these days.. hmm.. i hv so much 2 ponder lah.. lyk.. im quite confused over sum stuff n so determind in others..

basically, i m seriously contemplating whether anot 2 stay in X.. i mean.. i really lyk d CCA alot.. but it takes up alot of tym n i noe tt i can nv do really well 4 it.. however, really gonna try harder n not give up 1s.t. but den.. i still m gonna try 4 council 1st.. den.. frm dere.. i'll seriously make a decision tts based on a gd judgement n more rational.. hmm.. but.. if i really leave X, i noe im gonna hv lotsa regrets.. but its gonna b a choice tt i've gotta make sonner or later..

neway.. 2day.. CO was quite ok leh.. but.. it lacked a spirit n i juz couldn't get myself up 2 my usual self.. i think its quite obvious y.. xpecially since tt special sum1 didn't go 2day lah! wah lau.. neway.. will talk more abt tt later on.. hmm.. well.. we had a committee meeting later on.. n wah lau.. its lyk.. i did all d talking n d rest juz sat dere n listen lah.. its so dead! was hoping 4 more active response n lyk.. erm.. more lyk discussive kinda thing.. only Wee Kiat, Xuhua, Mu Liang, Lance n d 3 authorities had suggestions n qs! d rest were lyk.. stoning lah.. wah lau.. if dis goes on.. CO will really die.. den even if we gave our all ah.. nothing will come out of it.. neway.. i really hope tt everything wrks out soon enuf coz.. we really need d CO 1 do well!

well.. actually.. had quite a sad day lah.. basically, went 4 CO, played sum bball.. study.. n tts abt it.. at home juz relax.. oh! mayb hv 2 study later on again.. shit lah.. damn sian.. dun feel lyk it.. we'll c abt it lah.. neway.. i think d reason y i was really sad 2day was coz.. i didn't get 2 c.. her! wah lau.. its so drastic a dif leh! i mean.. even normally, i'll hv lyk dis weird feeling when she's not arnd or dun c her 4 1 day.. xpecially during CO practices when she doesn't turn up.. but now.. hmm.. its lyk.. its even more.. weird n feels very awkward when i dun get 2 c her.. coz.. i guess.. i hv finally been able 2 admit my true feelings 4 her when i've been denying dem all along in d past!

neway.. i dunno leh.. really miss Her alot lah.. can't seem 2 take my mind off her.. juz wish tt i can c her more often in future.. hmm.. hope tt we can get closer n juz simply wrk things out.. hmm.. indeed i dunno really xactly noe how she feels 4 me.. xcept tt we hv a hope or chance 2 get 2gether.. but.. really pray tt we can wrk out lah.. really lyk her alot.. so.. yeah.. pray 4 me plz.. ;p till den.. i'll juz wrk hard n make d best out of everything.. hopefully, wif my effort n patience, she'll accept me.. Livng Life To The Fullest.. >_<

2004-04-09T21:07:00.000+08:00

yeah! haha.. 2day.. hmm.. was a pretty fun day n meaningful day! haha.. ooh.. 1st of all.. Happy Good Friday! its a really meaningful day 2day as i went 4 my 1st church service of my life! haha.. well.. i m really happy tt i went on a special n meaningful day 4 all Christians.. coz.. it is dis day tt Jesus was remembered 4 sacrificing Himself 2 4give us of all our sins thus ensuring us a way 2 God our Heavenly Father and Heaven.. well.. d church service taught me more abt d death n meanings as well as d teachings of death of Jesus n how it affected d every1 else, particularly d Jews.. hmm.. i think i shall b attending d Sun services frm now on! haha..

oh! haha.. met up n managed 2 catch up wif Benjamin Moey and Aaron dis past day! it was really fun.. playing bball n stuff.. man.. i really suck! m so out of practice lah! wah lau.. needa train oready! argh! mayb play tml! haha.. oh.. erm.. well.. went 2 Ben's house after tt n played Soul Caliber 2 4 lyk 5 hrs lah! play until my eyes nearly drp out liao.. damn tired now.. haha.. neway.. it was quite fun lah.. talking 2 dem n playing wif dem.. its been a long tym since i let myself loose so much! haha..

hmm.. 1 thing bad thou was tt Ben's bro, Ashley was lyk.. super.. GRRR.. wanna kill him lah.. super unblievably irritating! d whole grp of us wanted 2 bash him out or throw him out of d window sia.. damn.. irritating! hmm.. now i understand d pain tt Ben goes thru each day.. pity him sia.. mayb wun treat him so bad in future.. haha.. but in d end we nv do nething 2 d bro coz Ben is my fren n coz their parents were really nice 2 us lah.. so.. yeah.. oh well.. hmm..

oh! im so happy lah! haha.. heh heh.. i m so happy tt Kelly got her wallet back lah! haha.. neway.. really lyk her alot lah.. den.. wish tt we really could lyk get 2gether.. wish dis more so den 4 ne other feelings 4 other gals i had.. im sorry 2 dem.. or.. mayb happy 4 dem.. i dunno.. dpends of dem.. but.. i think tt Kelly mite b.. the real person whom i was lking 4 now.. its not out of convienience.. neither out of a sexually driven thing.. but.. really hv dis special feeling goin on 4 her lah.. really hope it wrks out.. so.. im erm.. kinda praying 4 it 2 wrk out, day in n day out.. *crossing my fingers n praying as my eyes turn 2 Heaven* ;p

2004-04-08T21:39:00.000+08:00

lalalala.. haha.. so very very happy! haha.. now finally things seem 2 b finally goin rite 4 me! haha.. i mean.. ceratinly various things didn't wrk 2 my favour.. but bsides tt.. everything is swell! haha.. well.. k.. let me whine 4 a little while lah.. really cant stand it! haha.. well.. 2day was d stupid swimming heats! well.. i was in d 50M freestyle Heats 3 lah.. dere were 3 heats.. den wah lau.. d 1st 2 heats ah.. only 3 out of d 8 pple turned out lah! wah lau eh! den my heats.. all d other 7 pple turned out! guess wad?! they were all waterpolo pple n sch swimmers! den i was lyk laggin behind dem 4 lyk 2-5M! shit loh.. den iw as so nervous! i swam in2 d line! haha..

neway.. bsides tt.. everything is goin fine n well again.. yup.. my studies r eventually improving.. now i really blieve tt studying helps! haha.. yup.. i admit it.. i've been sumwad mugging lah.. but.. needa wrk harder! haha.. neway.. erm.. things wif d class is getting better.. more united n turning more n more crazy! haha.. den.. erm.. oh.. Natasha n i r on sumwad speaking terms again.. hopefu;;y dis means tt we've put things bhind us.. hmm.. oh.. den.. Reina n i.. yeah well.. we r talking normally as Jie n Di again.. not tt awkward again.. erm.. yeah.. tts all i can say abt tt part of my life lah.. ooh.. Val is my confidant lah! haha..

wad is d best thing tt has happened so far! haha.. it is.. lalaloox.. d gal i lyk is.. haha.. not denying of not hving feelings 4 me! haha.. so tt means.. i've got a chance! haha.. really hope tt it is true.. coz i really wan things 2 wrk out wif her! haha.. im serious abt dis 1.. really m liao.. more serious den ne other.. not gonna lyk change myself.. but remain myself n juz hope tt she lyks me 4 who i m.. she's d only person whom i've ever lyk tt has seen me crazy, angry, pissed.. happy.. sad.. yeah.. non of d other gals tt i was wif or lyked ever saw tt! she was d 1st.. hopefully.. it wrks out.. coz i really lyk her!

heex.. neway.. its Good Friday tml! lets all not 4get abt d significance of d day.. lets all thank our heavenly Father 4 all tt he hath provided.. will keep on living my life to the fullest n hopefully 2 HIS honour! (",)

2004-04-07T21:16:00.000+08:00

Heh heh! life has been quite a bliss 2day.. indeed it was another long day as i juz got home n had a quick dinner.. haha.. finished eating lyk in 5 mins lah.. was really hungry but since im on a diet.. ate less.. grr.. i hate dis.. but really needa loss weight oready.. seriously damn fat lah.. haiz.. wanna lyk b thinner n train myself 2 hv abs lah.. haha..

ooh! had dis DISC personality test 2day.. haha.. was classified as an IS lah.. d classifications were really accurate n spot on as everytym they checked d strengths n weaknesses.. my frenz by my side would lyk.. haha.. laughing at me! xpecially when they said d greatest fear was rejection! my whole class knew tt.. so when they announced it.. d grp of dem were lyk.. Colin! haha.. damn funny lah.. kanna jacked again! but wah lau.. i can't blieve tt sum pple actually thot i was a D lah! its lyk.. i m not lyk tt loh! mayb they juz c me being 2 serious 2 many tyms liao.. haha..

neway.. was really happy tt i had CO 2day! haha.. could get 2 c.. lalala.. Kelly! haha.. hmm.. yup.. OOh! b4 i 4get! i got changed in regards wif my PW grp coz Sabrin mite b leaving.. so.. im wif Audrey, Cheryl & Hiro! haha.. pple i lyk lah basically.. as in can more or less get along wif! yeah! haha.. oh.. neway.. i digressing again! haha.. really lyk CO all of a sudden lah..

its as if tt Kelly brought a whole new meaning in my life n a whole new perspective.. haha.. i dunno how 2 mention it or lyk xplain leh.. its lyk.. i feel really comfortable when she is arnd.. full of energy n stuff.. but d moment she leaves d rm.. it juz feels so dif.. lyk.. smething is missing.. i dunno how 2 fully show my feelings n emotions regarding dis.. but.. hmm.. i think dis tym.. i lyk her in a more dif way den i had 4 other pple dis yr.. i mean bsides Meiyi lah.. however, d thing is tt.. im more sure of dis feeling n my want in dis relationship.. as in.. i really wish 4 it 2 wrk out.. not tt i didn't feel d same 4 Reina.. but rather.. they give completely contrasting feelings 4 me.. yet i lyk Reina alot 2.. in d past.. but now.. i think.. Kelly is wad matters in my life now.. so.. im juz hoping tt it wrks out.. n tt.. at least we'll b great frenz.. im juz hoping tt it'll wrk out.. *Crossing fingers n juz silently praying*

oh well.. lets juz pray 4 d best in everything frm now on.. gonna wrk on everything.. n juz hoping n praying.. oh wait! its Easter soon! lets all spare a moment each day 2 thank God our Heavenly Father 4 all that HE has done 4 us n sacrificed 4 us.. Live Life To The Fullest! ;p

2004-04-06T20:47:00.000+08:00

i've finally sorted out my thots.. indeed i've come 2 realise many things in my life as well as found out d path tt im gonna take in my life or rather.. my love life.. in fact.. i shall finally admit tt i m gonna lyk only 1 gal now..

tt gal is d gal whom i've mentioned over d past few days.. n NO.. its NOT Natasha.. but at least.. d situation btw Natasha n me is not so strained as frenz nemore.. d other gals r merely infatuations n used 2 throw pple off d trail in terms of Reina n me.. well.. basically.. yes.. if i had 2 choose 2 pic a gal frm my class.. i guess every1 would noe tt i would try 2 go after Michelle Lim.. but d thing is tt.. i dun lyk her lyk.. i lyk Kelly.. well.. i didn't wan every1 2 keep talking abt Reina n me oready coz its old news n i didn't wan 2 feel hurt everytym sum1 jacked me abt it.. but.. tts over n done wif liao.. im gonna move on in life.. omg! i can't blieve it lah! sum1 i noe is goin 2 chase Reina! haha..

oh! d class is getting better wif each day lah.. even pple whom i initially didn't lyk r getting back n im beginning 2 understand dem better.. hmm.. yeah! got pple really considering 2 join CO frm my class! it'll b so cool! haha.. yeah! haha.. i wish more pple would join CO! heex.. xpecially frm my class lah.. den it wun b so dead n boring goin home! haha..

neway.. al i wanna do rite now is 2 noe Kelly better n hope tt in tym 2 come.. we can move on n b more den frenz.. it mite b wishful thinking of my part.. but.. tts wad i really hope will happen.. yup.. neway.. gonna wrk hard on dis 1.. coz.. im really sincere n wan it 2 wrk out.. so.. yeah.. *Crossing fingers* k.. Live Life To The Fullest! ;p

2004-04-05T21:24:00.000+08:00

Woah.. i juz came back frm X training not long ago.. hmm.. i feel quite shag sia.. mayb its coz i nv go 4 training 4 far 2 long oready! oh man.. hmm.. really hope i can get well soon n den start training properly! oh! i met my primary sch fren in X too! he juz joined! haha.. well.. got 4 newcomers 2 d CCA.. hope they can stay on n tahan it!

well.. i feel really misunderstood.. damn it lah.. its lyk.. dis whole week has been so full of misunderstanding, i mean since last week lah.. aiyo.. 1st, Natasha misunderstood smething i said, it triggered alot of bad blood btw her n me.. its lyk.. damn awkward lah.. shit loh.. i really m sorry abt wadeva happen but.. i oso wish tt she could b more sensitive as a person lah.. she is really blunt n tends 2 hurt a person's feelings.. its not juz once.. but.. haiz.. 4get it lah..

Recently, when i talk 2 Reina, she has been giving me dis feeling lyk she doesn't trust me.. now i noe y.. shit lah.. im misunderstood again.. my intentions in sum stuff i do is misinterpreted again lah.. damn it lah.. well.. im not gonna xplain myself lah.. i was juz hoping tt after all i did.. she would at least hv tt much faith in me.. but if she doesn't.. den 4get it lah.. lks lyk all my efforts n true feelings hv gone 2 waste..

neway.. life has been improving in sch.. thou d days r relatively longer den usual n d wrkload is increasing wif each passing day.. yet.. everything can still b coped.. however, i feel tt.. d class should juz at least sit 2gether 4 at least once a wk or smething lah.. wah lau.. we r lyk how disunited lah.. hmm.. only a grp of us actually makes an effort 2 sit 2gether.. hopefully we can influence d rest 2 sit 2gether wif us as d days go by.. hmm.. yeah.. tts it i guess.. juz wan us 2 get along better..

oh.. d CO Welcome Tea has been postponed 2 nxt Wed! so vexing! shit man.. plan so hard.. den coz d teachers n Chairwomen couldn't comprehend wif was planned.. i've got 2 retype n come out wif a more 'detailed' version.. damn sian.. very tired oready lah.. haiz.. oh well.. im resigned 2 my fate lah.. hmm.. wish tt more pple will join CO soon.. coz.. it'll really help d CO.. haiz.. ok lah..

im quite tired.. dunno wad more 2 write rite now.. but guess i'll juz retire rite now.. gonna lyk chill 4 awhile b4 heading 2 bks n studying again.. haha.. i sound so nerdy lah! wad happened 2 me! oh man.. k.. take care.. muz Live Life To The Fullest! ;p

2004-04-04T17:08:00.000+08:00

Haiz.. 2day, I juz attended a funeral of my relative.. it invoked a lot of fond memories tt I had spent wif her.. thou they may hv seemed sparse n few.. yet.. all so very dear 2 me.. d funeral was so very solemn.. n it made me think of another funeral..

It was d funeral of my grandfather juz 6 mths ago.. dis memory touched d sentimental side of me as all those memories of my grandfather n me simply flowed back 2 me.. it was a sad n depressing memory as we had such great tyms 2gether.. I miss those tyms tt I had wif him.. he was a jovial man n was upbeat everyday tt I saw him.. full of memories n an abundance of energy.. it was simply wonderful 2 hv him arnd.. even in his 80’s he was lyk a kid in so many aspects tt made it a wonder 2 so many..

Upon hearing d news of my relatives passing a few days ago.. it made me go thru memories n hv flashbacks of beautiful memories wif my grandfather.. dis made me very moody n touchy as it took me a long tym 2 get over his death n 2 hv history repeat itself.. it was simply 2 painful 2 bear.. wad made it worse was d fact tt Meiyi had juz gotten attached.. it was more painful den ne other xperience of let dwns.. n.. it affected me a lot.. dis 2 things coupled wif d fact of changing classes as well as d stress I’ve got 2 undertake in CO.. made it all d worse..

Im so very sorry n would lyk 2 apologise 2 all those tt I’ve put off during those past few days.. I noe tt I was hard 2 get along wif as I was moody, touchy, eccentric n juz unreasonable.. so.. I juz wanna say.. Sorry.. I was oso simply insensitive 2 others n their feelings.. I feel really bad 4 it.. n I hope tt u’ll all accept my apology n 4give me..

I now degrade myself as I try so hard 2 cope wif my studies n my CCAs.. its really quite stressful.. as I keep myself occupied wif Chinese Orchestra n X Country.. it’s a hell lot of wrk 2 keep up wif slp n those leading me 2 b pretty grumpy at tyms.. haiz.. rite now, d J1 committee of CO is busy wrking on a welcome tea 2 every1.. hoping 2 interest more pple in joining d Chinese Orchestra.. hopefully tt our hard wrk pays off.. really wan more pple 2 join.. but.. I dun wan Kelly 2 leave either.. I think I’ve seriously grown 2 get 2 attached 2 her as I feel so strongly abt her.. hope tt I can sort out my feelings soon..

Its here I sit,
Sad & deprive,
Waiting for help to arrive.

Its here I lie,
Wishing & wanting,
Just down and hoping.

Its here I stay,
Watching & hearing,
Looking out for her...

2004-04-03T14:54:00.000+08:00

Here I m back again.. after so many things tt hv happened over d past 2 days tt I’ve not written nething.. hmm.. I guess.. its quite upsetting considering tt most of dem r sumwad bad n depressing lah..

well.. lets juz put a gd thing 1st lah.. I juz recent;y watched a Midsummer’s Night Dream put up by d ACJC drama! Haha.. well.. it was.. simply.. fantastic! Haha.. they were really great! Hmm.. xpecially commendable were d J1 cast of Laura who played Hermia, Jonathan who played Hermia’s father as well as Andrew who played the King of d land (no.. not d king of fairies!)! haha.. they were really fabulous! Xpecially Laura who was 1 of d leading characters! She was simply fantastic n hardly any weaknesses were shown in her play! Haha.. hmm.. Jonathan was pretty gd too! Haha.. he was damn funny during d dances 2! But.. he has improved tremendously since d last tym they showed it 2 us! Haha.. even Andrew who had fairly a lot of lines 2 speak was fluent in his speech wif hardly any mistakes! Simply wonderful n happy 4 dem! D other J1 members of d play r not lacking either! Even thou some had minor roles or simply danced.. I think tt they hv done a simply gd job! Congrats 2 every1 involved in d play! Haha.. hmm.. well.. yeah.. I got 2 noe more abt my class again.. but.. I’ll get 2 tt later lah..

oh well.. now.. sumthings tt I simply hv 2 whine n let out off my system! 1st of all.. I hate 2 say it lah.. but.. im pretty upset regarding wad Natasha has been saying 2 me.. I mean.. I noe tt she is saying out of gd will.. but sumtyms.. its quite blunt lah.. recently oso.. I realise tt she has been pretty moody n tired.. really hope tt she takes care of herself.. I mean.. coz.. studies r really imp.. n if she continues lyk dis.. she mite get a burnout.. n it will by no means benefit her lah.. hope tt she would b able 2 rejuvenate herself n b more active in class!

Hmm.. 2nd of all.. im not all tt happy wif sum person in my class lah.. im not gonna say who is it at d moment lah.. but mayb later on as I move dwn my blog.. haiz.. well.. I’ve heard sum pretty bad comments abt him oready.. n.. its quite bad considering tt we r all in d same class u c.. I dun wan it 2 affect d whole total class cohesion.. if not.. aiyo.. d nxt 2 years would juz b hell lah.. well.. He has been really negative abt lotsa stuff.. u noe lyk.. jacking d teacher.. complaining abt teachers being 2 young n how much they suck.. well.. I can’t say much 2 those facts tt they r young n mostly inexperienced lah.. but den.. I think we should give dem more tym.. n let dem adapt better.. furthermore.. dis teachers hv oso contributed much 2 d recent yrs results whereby we’ve done relatively well.. so.. I think tt they r not all bad.. juz let dem teach d way tt they do n clarify if dere r any problems lah.. it doesn’t help 2 constantly complain abt dem.. hmm.. well.. I’ve oso kinda heard abt dis person blatantly juz telling sum gal tt he thinks she is ugly.. well.. im at no pt of passing any jurisdiction.. but.. all I can say tt.. its not a crime 2 hv personal views abt other pple.. but in dis case.. it was really 2 blunt 2 take frm ne1.. d way its done.. mite as well juz take a knife 2 stab d person or smething lah.. coz.. it hurts other pple’s feelings n well.. I guess.. it shows how insensitive d person is.. so I hope tt in future.. such comments b kept 2 demselves or they juz talk abt it 2 pple they r sure dunno abt d person u r talking abt so as 2 avoid friction n conflicts.. coz.. oready a no. of pple hv been put off.. I noe tt im not tt great either.. but im trying 2 accommodate others so has 2 built a healthier studying n schooling environment.. so.. lets juz give each other tym n b tolerant.. but if ne problems any1 has wif me.. I juz hope tt they r open 2 me coz im open 2 criticisms n suggestions.. howeva.. juz dun b so dwnrite blunt n unfeeling abt it lah..

well.. 3rd thing tt is d most upsetting thing im most upset abt is tt.. Meiyi juz got attached! Well.. I really dunno.. juz really dunno wad 2 feel regarding dis matter lah.. dunno how 2 xplain how I feel either.. xcept tt im really sad.. more sad den I’ve ever felt b4.. as in.. I purposely didn’t wanna go after her or nething coz she has her ‘O’s dis yr n I wanted her 2 concentrate n wrk hard.. yet.. I guess it backfired lah.. allowed her 2 get 2gether wif sum1 else.. even thou we nv noe how she’ll respond 2wards me even if I did go after her.. but.. its still really hurting lah.. oh well.. yeah well.. juz wished tt I actually did smething or made an effort 2 go after her lah.. but.. I guess.. d fact tt I wan d best 4 her.. juz.. overwhelms everything else.. so.. yeah.. neway.. juz wish her d best lah.. I can’t do nething much regarding d matter nemore.. haiz..

I think im quite doomed in d terms of Love loh.. aiyo.. my gfs so far hv either been really problematic.. been 2 intolerable lyk my ex.. or.. they simply juz.. dun match me nemore.. haiz.. den regarding gals I lyk.. its even worse lah! Shit loh.. wah lau.. its either, they r attached oready, dun wanna get attached now.. goin overseas.. im not their type.. lost their feelings 4 me.. or juz.. can’t b wif dem lah.. aiyo.. it really damn sad lah! Shit man.. well.. no matter wad, live goes on n I guess.. all these r part n parcel of life.. so.. juz move on.. mayb I’ll wait 4 Meiyi or juz find sme1 whom.. I dunno lah.. c 1st..

hmm.. it was quite awkward meeting Kelly lah.. aiyo.. d 1 frm CO is d 1 im talking abt now.. well.. its lyk.. at 1st didn’t noe wad 2 say 2 her.. whether 2 greet her tt kinda thing lah.. I juz wish I knew how she really felt abt me n whether we hv a chance 2gether lah! haiz.. well.. my class.. oso.. got a lot of pple lah.. I mean.. I lyk sum1.. but im not really sure how she feels abt me.. actually 2 lah.. 1 is.. starting wif C.. d other is Michelle.. but guess which wan lah! Haha.. well.. I dunno how both of dem view me neither do I noe how they feel abt me..

I juz wanna noe every1 better 1st.. Xpecially those 2 gals! neway.. its quite funny how much u can feel 4 a person lah.. I mean.. well d 1 starting wif C.. I oso not sure how I feel 4 her lah.. in my eyes, I think she is quite great.. but I fail 2 understand y sum pple tt noe her dun lyk her.. hmm.. guess.. every1 hv their own preferences lah.. I juz hope 2 lyk.. understand her n talk 2 her more 1st.. well.. im oso quite worried abt Kelly frm CO loh.. plz dun let her quit lah.. dun wan her 2 quit! She is really very imp 2 d CO n at least let me sort out my feelings 4 her 1st leh.. its damn screwy lah.. well.. yeah.. I mean.. tts all I can say rite now regarding my feelings rite? Haha.. its damn sad lah.. Michelle Wong is attached.. haiz.. so.. she is 2tally out of d qs.. den.. Rebecca.. I think its juz way 2 hard 2 return 2 d tyms tt we had lah.. she n I r juz 2 separate entities now.. dun even talk 2 each other on MSN now.. oh well.. Its really cool 2 hv Michelle Wong in my class lah.. my mei is so super nice 2 gossip n share probs wif.. Mei.. thk you! U’re d greatest!

For now.. im juz gonna move on wif life.. juz hope tt I’ll find out how they feel abt me n tt I’ll find d 1 4 me soon.. ;p

2004-04-01T20:34:00.000+08:00

woo hoo! haha.. yes! d class is really starting 2 warm up! i really lyk tt alot! haha.. yeah! hmm.. i realise tt we can b quite fun after all! haha.. yup.. d 1st few days was really dead.. but now tt we hv gotten 2 noe each other better.. every1 is gelling pretty well.. hmm.. n i guess.. we juz crap alot now 2! haha.. yup.. even d seemingly quiet people lyk Diana & Noelle r starting 2 crap along 2! haha.. its damn funny lah! haha.. well.. actually.. in d midst of dis, im still quite upset.. haiz.. i dunno leh.. mayb i m juz 2 sensitive or smething lah.. but.. guess.. i'll juz throw it all out rite now lah.. mayb after all these, sum1 can help me.. here i've been thinking.. after awhile.. i lost sight of wad i was thinking off..as i lay den last nite n realised tt i was pondering abt wad Kelly frm CO msg me last nite..after reading d msgs, i realised tt i nv did intend 2 get angry wif her.. moreover.. i really didn't intend 2 hurt her or make her feel bad.. i guess.. i nv did mention how much i wan her 2 stay in CO.. well.. not juz as a member of its present J1 committee but more as a fren.. well.. 1st of all.. she is an imp asset 2 d CO.. it may seem as if, she plays an unimp role.. yet.. she is a crucial n essential part 2 it.. well.. its not in my jurisdiction 2 tell her or force her 2 stay.. but i really hope tt she would stay.. but.. if she leaves.. d CO would still wish her d best.. n she has my support n best wishes lah.. neway.. i guess.. i nv did hv d courage 2 admit how much she means 2 me in my heart or as a fren lah.. well.. all i can say is tt.. i really dun wan her 2 leave lah.. i mean.. i lyk her 2 a certain xtent.. yeah.. but.. i cant xactly say how much lah.. juz wish 2 noe her better as a fren 1st.. yeah.. but den.. i guess.. in truth.. i dun really wanna noe how we'll go lah.. yup.. im a very confused person.. bsides.. i dunno how she views me loh.. oh.. hmm.. its quite weird leh.. now i c Reina arnd.. i feel lyk.. its kinda.. awkward.. mayb its juz me.. but.. sumtyms.. i juz.. dunno how 2 respond when i c her.. haha.. funny rite? oh.. hmm.. haha.. actually rite.. im beginning 2 lyk my class lah! haha.. yup.. found sum1 else whom i can easily communicate wif in Michelle Lim.. haha.. Christina damn funny lah! call her China Gal! haha.. den Michelle's reaction is damn comical once she hears tt of her! she was lyk.. haha.. i dunno how 2 describe loh.. haha.. but she is really fair.. lyk her skin loh.. omg! im talking a gal! ARGH! ooh! ooh! haha.. i saw Mr Lynn's table 2day! haha.. damn cute! haha.. its really so cute lah! haha.. got so many froggies on his table! haha.. it damn funny n damn cute! oh no.. im gushing again! if Nartz reads dis ah.. she would b lyk.. 'Colin, stop gushing!' haha.. oh well.. but yeah lah.. i think my class is gonna wrk out fine soon.. haha.. oh.. hmm.. Cheryl is oso quite gd looking 2 lah! haha.. but i think she kinda needa wrk it 2 her favour lah.. haha.. she is oso really great.. straight4ward n not shy 2 tell pple how she feels.. smething i rarely c in gals.. so really admire her 4 tt! hmm.. once thot tt d class was made of bimbos 2.. but.. i was wrong.. they r all really great pple! haha.. great xpecially 2 gossip wif! haha.. xpecially.. hmm.. my mei, Michelle Wong as well as Michelle Lim! haha.. can go on gossiping n talking wif dem 4 ages lah.. haha.. neway.. it kinda disturbs me tt Michelle Lim wanna appeal 2 CJC.. i mean.. its lyk.. yeah lah.. i lyk her n stuff.. but.. hmm.. i guess i juz dun c her pt of view.. so.. hv 2 wait n c y lah.. hmm.. ooh.. Kelly frm my class n OG didn't come 2day.. felt quite.. weird tt she disn't come either.. haha.. erm.. kinda miss her.. lala.. oh well.. mayb i juz hvn't gotten over my feelings 4 her.. oh well.. neway.. i think i spend more tym thinking of.. Meiyi lah.. yeah.. coz dunno y.. but hv dis longing 2 c her loh.. haiz.. oh! i think she is coming nxt wk! haha.. yeah! haha.. hope i can c her.. den.. can past her d letter soon! haha.. lalaloox.. k.. hope tt tym would help life get even better! haha.. Live Life To The Fullest! ;p

2004-03-31T19:53:00.000+08:00

hmmx.. life.. it has been rather stressful lah.. gotta plan d AA2 n AA1 class parties.. as well as try 2 get an SJI.. wifout Mr Lynn knowing.. haha.. neway.. its quite tough on me lah.. furthermore.. d present temp J1 committee in CO is lyk.. oso not tt great coz every1 hasn't really gotten 2 noe each other nor gelled wif each other.. well.. i certainly hope tt in all 4 areas, i would b able 2 get support n hopefully.. everything would wrk out.. neway.. i m really beginning 2 lyk d class now lah! haha.. really quite great 2 gossip wif lotsa dem lah! haha.. its quite funny.. coz.. i seem 2 hv confidants in all areas of my life.. haha.. such as.. Seok in X, Jill in CO, elayne is family as well as.. Michelle or Natasha in 1AA1.. haha.. got lotsa when i was in AA2 lah.. haha.. juz told every1.. neway.. at home.. i got my blog.. so can juz crap n juz throw all my probs out! yup.. neway.. i lost my temper at CO 2day lah.. i feel damn bad n crappy now loh.. haiz.. but i was under so much stress lah.. den.. i kinda.. was d only person doin things regarding d CO admin n preparations earlier on.. aiyo.. it was lyk.. shit lah.. do everything loh! aiyo.. den.. felt damn short fused.. wah lau.. den.. when pple continued 2 give me probs n gave me sarcastic or jokes tt hurt ah.. i juz blew lah.. got so fed up.. i "quit".. sat dwn n refused 2 move.. at least until i cooled dwn half an hr later.. whereby i helped get d rest lah.. actually wad made me really upset was tt it was Kelly tt disturbed me d most lah.. i mean.. its not lyk i blame her or nething loh.. but den.. i think it showed on my face tt i was pretty stressed n busy liao.. den she still.. 'whoeva wants Colin 2 quit, breathe!".. wah lau.. it hurt my feelings lah.. i guess i knew it was a joke.. but 2 hv it come out of her.. it hurt even more lah.. coz.. i guess.. i kinda lyk her loh.. as in.. yeah.. but.. neway.. tts tt lah.. now im feeling better liao.. hmm.. wads worse i guess is tt she mite quit CO.. im not saying tt i dun wan her 2 leave coz i lyk her neither coz im a committee member.. however, i really dun wan her 2 leave lah.. d CO needs her n she plays an imp part 2 it.. she may not think so.. but in actual fact.. its d truth! oh well.. im damn tired of all dis.. but later still got d J1 committee chat 2 discuss CO stuff n 2 "bond".. haha.. its quite screwed up lah.. neway.. really hope tt d class would get closer n tigther as a grp! my gosh.. i wan us 2 sit 2gether during lunch n recess period! its so frustrating when we juz sit away frm each other lah! shit! well.. gotta do smething 2 help d situation frm now on! haha.. neway.. gonna keep studying n wrk hard on my 'all arnd education'.. miss d old AA2 a lot.. but.. i think, dis class would do fine lah.. juz needa b patient n give it more tym 4 all of us.. not juz 2 adapt 2tally.. but 2 get 2 noe each other better lah.. 4get all initialy dislyks n disregard all probs.. juz mix n bond.. hmm.. i wish 2 noe d rest much better lah.. really wish so.. but.. really needa stay away frm certain pple 1st.. dun wanna start developing feelings 4 ne of dem.. if not.. sure damn awkward or weird! oh.. damn it lah.. i miss Meiyi alot loh.. wish i could c her soon.. nxt wk! i cant wait lah! oh well.. i'll juz wait 4 her lah.. thou it may b long.. but.. i'll wait.. coz.. i wish tt we could really wrk out.. unless.. of course.. she really dun wanna give me a chance.. den.. 4get it lah.. its part n parcel of life.. no matter wad.. i shall Live Life To The Fullest! coz.. The Best Is Yet To Be! ;p

2004-03-30T19:47:00.000+08:00

Wow! Life has been really great so far! Indeed its been tiring, dead beat n lotsa administration stuff 2 b covered.. yet.. im really happy as d class is finally beginning 2 really gel! Haha.. we r all beginning 2 warm up 2 each other! Haha.. its super fun lah! Haha.. xpecially since, we spend quite a lot of tym gossiping n getting 2 noe each other better now! Haha.. so cool rite? Haha.. neway.. juz realised tt d gals really noe how 2 gossip lah! Haha.. spend lyk human geog lecture talking or more lykly gossiping n bitching abt pple wif Michelle Wong n Michelle Lim lah.. haha.. surprise surprise! Jiayi n Huiling r actually gd frenz of Michelle Lim! Xpecially since they were in same class or smething lah! Haha.. damn coincidental loh.. haha.. well.. dunno how lah.. she oso noe Yulin lah! Its damn embarrassing lah.. xpecially since I used 2 lyk dis pple at a pt of tym.. haha.. den kanna called ‘hua xing’! im not ‘hua xing’ lah.. its juz tt smetyms, dere is no chance therefore I put it dwn n juz move on while wishing d best 2 d rest lah.. haiz.. its quite upsetting actually coz I used 2 gossip n chat a lot wif Jiayi! Haha.. den 2 find out tt she is attached.. it was a blow lah.. neway.. I think tt it has bcome really awkward 4 me 2 meet Reina nowadays lah.. wah lau.. I dun talk 2 her neither do I wave or acknowledge her presence lyk I used 2 do.. it really quite depressing lah.. not tt I dun lyk her nor is it coz I hate her.. its juz tt.. im really trying earnestly 2 get her 2tally out of my mind! Oh well.. its gonna take sumtym.. but.. hey.. its gonna wrk out smeday lah! den.. u noe.. i spend a lot of tym wif Valerie coz we chat n gossip alot.. hmm.. den.. i think tt pple in sch think we r attached?! well.. we r.. NOT! obviously NOT attached lah.. hmm.. i only lyk Meiyi loh.. Wah lau.. I dun believe my luck lah! Audrey in my class.. used 2 sit nxt 2 Rachel Yap lah! Yes.. Rachel Yap.. as in.. d gal I used 2 lyk so very much.. all d way frm Pri 6 till Sec 4.. yes.. TT Rachel Yap! Where got luck or coincidental until lyk tt wan.. seriously lah.. I think im quite jialat lah.. den.. its lyk.. even Shane n Michelle Lim noes my ex.. haha.. at least we now share a common distaste 4 her! Haha.. it shows tt im not d only 1 who cant stand her! Haha.. neway.. wads more coincidental is tt.. Meiyi.. noes Michelle Goh, Gn Shumin n Rachel Lim frm my class lah! I really die liao loh.. she noes Fiona frm X 2! Den Sarah d captain of d gals X team noes Meiyi 2! Oh man.. if they find out I lyk Meiyi ah.. im really done 4 lah.. sure will get no end of jacking lah! Haha.. neway.. I still miss my 1AA2 class.. but d present class is turning out pretty fine lah.. hope it continues dis way n tt all of us will soon b more 2gether n bonded! Haha.. oh.. Daphne is in 1AA2! Haha.. can disturb regularly oready! Haha.. well.. gonna hold class parties 4 both AA1 n 1st 3 mths AA2 soon enuf lah.. but gotta hv sum pple 2 help me.. if not I’ll juz die of stress loh.. heex.. my teachers oso dun seem tt bad! Haha.. neway.. im beginning 2 lyk d class gals quite a lot lah.. at 1st they seem pretty.. hmm.. dunno how 2 describe.. but.. now.. they r really fine pple! Haha.. xpecially a few lah.. haha.. but better not mention names.. if not pple will get d wrong idea again.. neway.. Kelly frm CO n sum other gal I dunno found out abt dis blog url lah! I dunno how oso loh.. they seriously damn pro lah.. neway.. Kelly frm CO told me tt now I cant bully her n should trust me better now.. haha.. its damn dumb lah.. I treat her damn well in comparison 2 d rest leh.. as in I joke wif her n stuff.. coz I lyk her lah.. no.. not lyk lyk thou.. coz.. I think she will nv lyk me lah.. but.. I think she’s a really great gal.. would make quite a gd gf 2.. neway.. im kinda lyk.. crazy rite now.. but.. all I can say is tt.. I really miss Meiyi a lot.. cant wait 2 c her soon enuf or nxt wk lah! Haha.. wanna c her! Oh.. mayb can take pic on camera fone! Haha.. I need! Haha.. neway.. yeah.. juz really lyk her a lot.. but will wait 4 her 2 finish her ‘O’s 1st lah.. dun wanna put stress nor boil her dwn rite now.. coz.. I lyk her n wan d best 4 her! heex.. neway, its quite funny how protective i get over her.. as in.. i really dun allow ne1 2 badmouth her nemore.. i dunno leh.. think im quite crazy xpecially since i admit openly tt i lyk her alot.. Haha.. I’ll keep smiling n live life to the fullest 4 now.. ;p

2004-03-29T21:10:00.000+08:00

wow.. im dead beat lah.. so long nv train.. den 2day, d training oso wasn't tt slack.. so.. feel quite drained loh.. hmm.. neway.. its d 1st tym i met my new class 2day! haha.. well.. wad can i say lah? i mean.. honestly, i really miss d whole class of 1AA2 of d 1st mths, apparently, every1 in d whole of tt class feels d same 2! neway.. my present class.. well.. it ain't tt bad lah.. but.. i feel tt d whole class is really disunited.. haiz.. its lyk.. d guys n gals r pretty seperate.. den only i really try 2 mix wif d gals.. hmm.. d other guys r lyk kinda anti-social lah.. neway.. haha.. my class is mainly made up of chio n cute gals loh! haha.. im serious lah! well neway.. there r pretty stand out chio gals lyk Michelle Goh n perhaps Kelly.. wif cute gals such as Audrey.. hmm.. neway.. there r lyk 18 gals n 8 guys lah! well.. i think most of d guys r fine lah.. but most of dem r pretty much hypocrites loh.. backstabbing pple.. whereas i realise tt d gals lyk 2 GOSSIP alot lah! hmm.. got re-elected as class rep again! man.. dunno how oso lah.. mayb coz i really try 2 make an effort 2 unite d class n get 2 noe d rest better.. haiz.. hope tt in tym 2 come in d near future, we will all b closer, n tt.. d pple in my class would lyk each other.. n if ne displeasures a r present.. let dem all b solved n settled.. let dere b no squabbles, discontentment nor hostility.. haiz.. neway.. recently, i've realised how much Meiyi really means 2 me.. been thinking, tossing n turning everyday.. juz trying 2 sort out d priorities of my life.. n i realised tt bsides religion n academics.. Meiyi is still d most imp gal in my life.. indeed i hv not entirely gotten over Reina.. but at least i noe tt she n i will nv b possible coz.. she nv did lyk me nor will she ever lyk me.. however.. i guess.. even if Meiyi feels d same rite now.. i noe tt at least in my mind, i clearly lyk her alot.. n since i can wait 4 2 yrs.. im pretty sure tt i can go thru all d ordeals n wait 4 her.. coz.. i really lyk her.. God bless 2 all.. ;p

2004-03-28T20:09:00.000+08:00

heh heh.. juz ate lyk 1 n half of large pizzas! so very full now! wah lau.. haha.. needa go on a diet again! man.. i love Hawaiian pizzas! their d best in my pt of view! haha.. Yummy! haha.. neway.. i juz found out tt Michelle Goh frm MGS, d chio swimmer tts oways arnd Sarah is in my class 2! haha.. well.. i heard tt shes quite cool 2 d pple.. but den.. hopefully tt in tym, she'll warm up 2 d class 2 n b lyk.. active in class conversations n stuff! haha.. neway.. tt means i got 3 Michelles in my class! haha.. d last 1 is frm Cedar! haha.. oh well.. hmm.. im really xcited 2 meet d new class.. but im really gonna miss d class of 1AA2! damn it.. i wanna b wif d pple lyk.. Seok Imm, Juls, Jon, Steph, Jemima.. i think d most im gonna miss d most is still Seok leh.. i dunno y oso.. think coz i gossip d most wif her in class n coz we r in d same CCA.. neway.. i was juz wondering rite.. wad will it b lyk if i really join council.. coz.. i really wanna join council.. but.. i dun wanna leave X either.. really hard 2 choose btw d 1 leh.. i hv a great desire 2 serve d sch n contribute back smething 2 d sch.. yet.. i love X so very much.. n hv so many fond memories of d tyms i spent in it.. im not ready 2 let go at all.. xpecially since.. Reina is still dere.. i noe its impossible btw us oready lah.. hv learnt 2 cope n live wif d truth.. but den.. its still pretty hard 2 let go.. coz.. i still carry a torch 4 her.. but neway.. i think.. i m not sure 4 council either.. as its gonna b really taxing thou i really wanna b in it.. haha.. im oso prety afraid 2 get 2 close 2 Grace n Kelly! im afraid tt i develop feelings 4 dem.. its gonna b so confusing den lah.. bing wif either of dem is a blessing.. but.. d chances r so slim.. n i dun wan it 2 b lyk, i hv feelings 4 dem.. yet.. they dun lyk me.. den sure die lah.. it mite.. juz b another.. nvm.. at least, now im more clear of my feelings.. coz.. i noe tt d person closer 2 my heart rite now is still Meiyi.. really lyk her n miss her a lot.. she's d only person whom i've been really concerned abt during d past 2 yrs.. i really dunno! i wanna b wif her so badly n i really lyk her so much.. but.. i really dunno how she views me.. n whether thinks can ever wrk out btw us.. haiz.. nvm.. juz trying 2 live my life 2 d fullest again lah.. c how its gonna turn out.. haha.. hope tt in d end.. i'll find sum1 whom i can really b wif..

2004-03-26T22:49:00.000+08:00

woah.. juz got back frm X dinner.. lotsa stuff happened 2day! haha.. i got my new class allocation n im in 1AA1! oh man.. Nafiz, Shu Min r in d same class as me! i dun really share a fondness 4 dem lah! wah lau.. but they hv their pluses 2 lah.. neway.. Nartz n Hiro is wif me 2! haha.. im really happy tt.. Kelly n Michelle r oso wif me! haha.. those 2 r really great pple whom i hv missed since we were split up after orientation! haha.. ssh.. xpecially Kelly lah!she's damn swt n stuff.. haha.. i think in d whole damn OG, i talk 2 her d most frequently now.. as in.. including d tyms tt i spent wif Rebecca..i confide in her more den ne1 else in d OG n joke wif her d most.. hmm.. wonder who else is in my class.. n im.. pretty xcited! haha.. neway.. during X training, i could barely keep up wif d rest loh.. my whole fitness has dropped lah! really shit sia! damn it.. really muz train hard if i m 2 do well.. but den.. i may drp X 4 Council thou.. really thinking abt it now.. coz.. i think tt Council is really meaningful! oh man.. d stupid Zi Yang n Kah Yi r.. keep on jacking me abt Reina lah.. damn it.. it cost me 2 nearly totally losing my cool lah! nearly juz blasted dem rite dere n den.. but den.. i was hostile enuf 2 lyk.. cause Reina's eyes 2 widen loh! well.. i relaly muz keep a rein on my temper lah.. furthermore.. i really muz apologise 4 my behavior.. i was so childish.. sorry Reina.. neway.. its quite funny.. but i've been missing Meiyi alot quite lately leh.. how? wad 2 do? n.. im really quite afraid tt she wun accept me 2.. haiz.. nvm.. juz try 2 Live Life To The Fullest 1st lah! ;p

2004-03-25T20:02:00.000+08:00

ooh.. im super pissed! i really can't stand it.. d thot of it is making my blood boil! ooh.. i juz wanna kill tt bastard! who m i talking abt?! well.. i'll tell ya.. i wanna kill.. IAN POH! grr.. juz d thot of his name is enuf 2 make ne1 else get a stroke! tt stupid bastard.. make Meiyi until lyk tt, i wanna unscrew his head wif my bare hands.. or.. hang him upside dwn wif his smellest underwear! tt moron.. wanna noe wad happen is it? ok.. i'll tell ya.. tt asshole, played wif Meiyi's feelings last yr, 2 timed her den made it seem lyk its her fault.. den wah lau.. lyk tt not enuf.. he den go n write in 'annonymous' letter 2 d principal of MGS n say tt she was frenching sum guy outside Kino! nearly causing her 2 get suspended lah!!! wah lau.. n its lyk.. she's not seeing ne1 n wun french ne1 as far as pple noe lah.. stupid loh.. shit man.. i tell u.. he is really gonna get it lah.. i juz hope tt other gals dun get conned by him n tt he get his juz desserts lah.. neway.. d mistake he made was he messed wif d wrong gal.. he messed n tried 2 screw d gal i lyk.. if i ever c him ah.. he better pray tt dere r pple who lyk him or pple who can restrain me.. or else.. *BAM!* neway.. life has been goin great in ACJC! haha.. i LOVE ACJC! haha.. really LOVE it dere.. haha.. im so greatful n would lyk 2 thank every1 who gave me support n hope such as.. Reina, Seok, Juls, Benjamin etc u guys r great frenz! *HUGS* haha.. thou, im quite screwed up 4 C Maths.. i m gonna wrk hard.. but.. hey! who can help me.. plz help me! haha.. oh.. Meiyi, if ya read dis.. cheer up yeah.. dun worry abt it n 4get abt it.. it'll all settle out, he'll get his just retribution! oh man.. i juz wanna say.. i miss.. u.. well.. who's d u.. heh heh.. i think d person would noe lah.. hmm.. its really gonna take a while 2 get over Reina lah.. but.. guess will hv 2 do it sooner or later lah.. well.. actually.. i dunno ya noe.. i dunno whether 2 stay in X anot.. on 1 hand.. i really Love d CCA.. but den.. on d other.. im not gd at it.. den.. its quite tough 2 take.. n.. nvm d 3rd reason.. but well.. let me think abt it 4 awhile lah.. den.. i'll make a decision sooner or later.. haha.. nowadays.. i juz wanna get over Reina.. n juz.. think who is it tt i really wanna b wif.. coz.. it seems.. it mite.. b.. Meiyi.. coz.. after 2 yrs.. i still can't get over her.. n still hv strong feelings 4 her.. let me think..

2004-03-24T20:13:00.000+08:00

haha.. finally im back in ACJC! it juz felt so rite 2 b in ACJC uniform n in ACJC! haha.. d moment i stepped back in dere, a feeling of relief n happiness overcome me.. wow.. n 2 go 4 morning service, it felt juz so rite 2 thk God 4 all tt he has done 4 me.. neway.. i had 2 go back 2 TPJC, haha.. i told dem straight in d face.. i would lyk 2 get out, may i noe who is supposed 2 sign d form?! haha.. damn jialat sia.. should hv seen their xpression! they were lyk.. aiyo.. dunno how 2 describe lah.. den d TPJC pple ah.. were lyk.. hey his frm ACJC, wow.. tt kinda thing n juz stayed away frm me lah.. haha.. neway.. yup.. went 4 my 1st Maths lecture.. n wah lau.. d lecturer ah.. dunno wad his doin lah.. he go thru d things so fast.. xpect every1 2 follow n understand.. its lyk.. at d end of everything.. 75% of d class juz went arnd asking, 'do u understand?' haha.. its damn funny.. thk gosh i understand until d last part of Bionomial.. better wrk damn hard dis yr man.. if not sure die! neway.. im not tt depressed nemore.. feeling better wif each day lah.. so yeah.. hopefully soon.. it wun hurt at all.. actually, im really happy tt Reina & me r still Jie & Di.. coz.. dere's no need 4 awkwardness n stuff.. wah lau! i juz got called up 2 b told tt im in d CO committee lah.. again.. we hv 2 go thru dis cycle is it? haha.. but its alrite.. get Pearls points! bsides! i saw.. MEIYI!!! haha.. really so happy 2 c her! heh heh.. 1 lk at her ah.. n my depression n all my sadness ah.. juz disappeared loh! i dunno y leh.. really.. she juz brightens my day! but.. haha.. still gotta wait 4 her till end of 'O's if really wanna b wif her.. but... i still muz completely not hv feelings 4 Reina 1st.. which is gonna take sum tym lah.. neway.. im juz gonna take my tym n c how it goes 1st lah.. all i can is tt i still hv feelings 4 Reina.. but.. i guess.. Meiyi is still dere in my heart lah.. juz.. hv 2 c wad tym will tell.. till den.. i juz hv 2.. Live Life To The Fullest! ;p

2004-03-23T21:36:00.000+08:00

yeah! im so happy! haha.. i juz got a call frm Gurmit Singh! he told me i got in2 ACJC! haha.. im so happy! haha.. i was so happy tt i shouted in2 d phone wif a loud n resounding.. 'YES!' haha.. he was lyk stunned n shocked n lost 4 words! haha.. i finally got back in! haha.. yeah.. neway.. now tt im in.. im gonna hv 2 treasure my tym dere n wrk hard.. of course gals, CCAs, everything else is imp.. but hey.. studies muz take priority! but.. im gonna balance it well! haha.. so happy! haha.. yes.. can go back 2 frenz alyk! haha.. yeah.. but.. hmm.. i dunno leh.. juz damn happy i got in! no more TPJC! tt stupid shit sch! gonna throw it at their faces man! haha.. neway.. yup.. gonna wrk damn hard at everything.. hmm.. dun wanna say it lah.. really happy i got in2 ACJC.. but.. deres still.. sum depression lah.. but.. lets try 2 4get it.. n juz.. haha.. try 2 enjoy my success 1st! oh.. but.. im really happy tt she n i r still gd frenz n r still Jie & Di! haha.. its really freat 4 tt! haha.. neway.. everybody take care.. i'll b dere 4 every1 who needs me.. dun 4get tt! Live Life To The Fullest! ;p

2004-03-23T17:32:00.000+08:00

hiya! heex.. well.. im still depressed lah.. but feeling better oready.. coz.. got frenz dere tts oways constantly helping me.. but.. haiz.. need much more tym 2 get over it lah.. neway.. TPJC really sux lah! i left dere as soon as i submitted my subject combi form.. den went 2 ACS (Barker Road) 2 get a letter frm d principal 2 push 4 me getting in.. i actually waited 4 hrs 4 d letter 2 b done lah! n blieve it or not?! waiting dere juz 4 hours n talking wif frenz, was so much better den bing in TPJC n doin its "fun" activities! shit lah.. really can't stand TPJC.. haiz.. really miss ACJC n d pple.. wanna get back dere.. neway.. its nice 2 noe tt dere r pple who still care abt ya, frenz lyk Seok Imm, Juliana, Valarie n Natasha.. constantly asking abt how im doin n reassuring me tt i can make it back as well as giving me hope which seems so far away.. haiz.. im really afraid even thou Mrs Creffield tells me tt i've gotten a place but juz gotta wait 4 dem.. n she tells me 2 relax n not 2 panic.. but wah lau.. its not as easy as being said lah.. juz cant stand TPJC sia.. its really horrible! haiz.. den when i went 2 submit my letter of recommendation.. d cute gal in charge told me she couldn't find my appeal form lah.. den told her fren tt most lyklt i've been accepted.. so they told me 2 wait 4 d call.. but.. wah lau.. i really cant wait 4 d call lah.. juz wanna go back 2 ACJC! neway.. i specially went 2 d doctors 2day.. juz 2 get 2days MC frm sch! argh.. haiz.. neway.. i dun understand y Reina feels bad abt everything.. im not blaming her 4 nething n stukk.. coz.. feelings such as love is not a thing tt can b controlled.. its not neccessary 4 it 2 b reciprocated all d tym.. bsides, i was quite prepared 2 b.. rejected.. but hell.. it hurts lah.. but.. really.. im not blaming her 4 nething.. all i wan is 2 c her happy n joyful.. not worry abt nething.. n certainly dun ever wanna hear her calling herself a bitch ever again.. it hurts me more den ever lah.. coz i really care abt her.. n when she does all dis.. it affects our frenship n relationship as jie & di 2 b worse.. haiz.. i really wish tt she could juz understand my thots n feelings.. i find it a miracle oready tt she could at least lyk me once.. but.. even thou tt has ended.. it was certainly a blessing, 1 tt i'll treasure n remember 4eva.. i wish tt in future, we would grow closer as frenz n our bond as jie & di will get stronger.. yup.. wadeva it is.. i shall persevere n try my best not 2 think 2 much abt it.. move on in life n juz.. wish 4 d best.. Live Life To The Fullest! ;p

2004-03-22T22:17:00.000+08:00

heya! haha.. dis is my 3rd blog post in a day lah! well.. yeah.. been thinking alot.. n its great 2 hv frenz who care.. such as Valarie, Benjamin Moey and Jonathan Khoo.. hey thx pals.. u all really helped me a lot.. thou i muz admit tt d pain n sadness is still fresh, u guys hv made me feel better.. its great 2 noe tt i've got frenz lyk u all in my life.. well.. certainly d road 2 completely heal d wound is gonna take a slow n painful process.. but im gonna persevere, not juz 4 d sake of my frenz, not juz coz of her.. but oso coz tts wad i want.. its d only way tt im gonna hv 2 move on.. but in d meanwhile.. frenz.. do bear wif me k? i may b moody at tyms, so i apologise rite now if i turn moody on u, b tolerant on me k? neway.. i think its better tt she n i remain as frenz or jie & di after all.. coz if we really did end up in a relationship, n sumthing happens.. it'll b damn awkward xpecially during training.. so hopefully after all dis, we can still remain as gd frenz n as jie & di.. heex.. neway.. if i offended u (as in Reina) in neway by putting ur name on d Blog.. really sorry.. but.. guess.. it was 2 fully xpress my thots n feelings more fluently.. really sorry.. Meiyi, i oso owe u an apology.. 4 being a jerk n stuff.. yeah.. really sorry 2 ya 2.. haiz.. lifes 1 big puzzle n full of questions.. we nv noe wads coming.. but at least we muz b contented tt in d end, dere r frenz who will oways b dere 4 us.. will.. neway.. tts wad i oso wanna b 2 all those out dere who r my frenz.. i'll oways b sum1 who will oways b dere 4 ya, so juz feel free 2 give me a buzz.. n i'll help ya in wadeva way i can.. dun b shy yeah.. neway.. i dunno how 2 end dis.. but in certain sense my sch n my life mottos will help in dis.. The Best Is Yet To Be! Live Life To The Fullest! ;p

2004-03-22T19:52:00.000+08:00

i once thot life was a box of chocolates whereby everything was juz swt n simply wonderful 2 eat.. however, im wrong.. its not oways filled wif swt chocolates but i left out d bitter chocolates.. yet.. its dis bitter chocolates tt we must eat n taste 2 fully enjoy n understand d true meaning of swtness in other chocolates.. after much thot, i realise, its a simple portrayel of wad life truly is lyk.. bitter n swt moments.. yet.. lyk d chocolates, swtness i only fully appreciated n enjoyed after bitterness or rather in life, they come in depressions n obstacles as well as failures.. whereby after facing dis problems, dere is a swt taste of life.. lyk chocolates tt holds a bitter-swt taste when they start off being bitter.. its quite amazing actually coz it took me a full 17+ years 2 understand dis concept.. frm dis, i hope 2 apply it thru my life thou.. whereby i've juz faced a DOWN.. nope, its not regarding d sch thing but rather d 1 tt focuses on my personal side of life.. its a hard n deep fall, but lyk oways, its juz another obstacle in life, set 2 make u give up.. but i blieve tt i can pick myself up n move on.. yes.. it may b taxing, may b really hard.. but i m pretty sure tt i can really move on.. rite now thou, d wound is still fresh n still bleeding profusely, give it sum tym, n im sure it'll start drying up n d scab will set in as new skin is formed.. den, i will grow stronger as a person, stronger against d tides of obstacles n sadness.. however, i muz now degenerate n let all emotions tt r negative 2 me out.. try 2 get all frustration, depression.. sorrow.. out of my system b4 i can go on.. but.. how long will it take? how long muz i endure dis pain b4.. i 4get.. wads it lyk 2 lyk or love sum1 so very much...

juz a little poem 2 xpress my feelings rite now.. not tt great.. yet.. haiz.. read on lah..

I simply don't know what to do with my life,
Now that you're out of sight.
Tears falling like rain drops in the sky,
Flowing rivers under the night light.
Wishing and praying with each passing day,
That the pain would go away...
Just like a flash of light...

2004-03-22T16:32:00.000+08:00

Haiz.. its a really sad n depressing day.. not only coz of my sch.. but oso coz of smething else tt is more imp 2 me.. neway.. its d 1st tym i spent my day in TPJC.. i got 1 solitary word 2 describe it.. SUCKS! wah lau.. its mainly dominated by Malays lah.. not lyk im racisit of nething lyk tt but its lyk every where tt u turn 2, u c a Malay.. its damn dif frm my Pri, Sec n ACJC life! haiz.. neway.. orientation was lyk dun rite shit lah.. fucked up sia.. i juz couldn't take it lah.. it was so boring n so "organised" man.. its lyk, we spent half d tym stoning dere lah.. my OG ah, ok.. admit.. got cute gals.. but hell.. its lyk.. damn shitty loh, my OGL lyk dunno wads goin on lyk tt.. den i dun even noe half my OG lah! damn sad.. really.. comparable 2 ACJC, dis is really Hell n ACJC is Heaven! by dis tym in ACJC, most of us would b lyk talking n gossiping oready.. but in TPJC.. everybody is so dead n quiet.. damn sian lah.. shit lah.. dunno how m i gonna take 1 WEEK of orientation! 1 WEEK! oh.. n d mass dance is d lamest ever lah.. so much easier n lamer as well as shorter den ACJC! its damn full of crap.. d way d OGLs teach oso ah.. wah lau.. can't stand it.. 4eva arguing among demselves coz got conflicting ideas on how its done.. neway.. i really miss ACJC.. i noe Mrs Creffield n d rest r working hard 2 get me back in.. but they tell me dun panic n hang in dere.. well.. its quite easy 4 dem 2 say even thou i really appreaciate it n owe dem so much.. but hell.. i really can't stand TPJC! argh! haiz.. its really depressing dere lah.. however.. wads d most depressing n hurtful thing tt happen 2 me 2day is.. actually.. i kinda found out how Reina feels abt me.. im not really sure lah.. but i get d idea tt she doesn't lyk me d way i lyk her lah.. haiz.. oh well.. it really hurts alot lah.. ever seen a guy cry? juz remind me abt it.. n u juz mite c d once in a lifetym affair of Colin cry.. all tt tough guy image he puts up in frnt of every1 would b shattered 2 pieces.. lyk d tym when d CO under my leadership got Bronze.. it lyk.. i dunno lah.. i think im overly sensitive n emotional 4 a guy.. but.. its dis kinda things tt makes me feel d worst! u think d day 4 collecting 'O's results was bad? well.. u should hv seen d day i found out we got Bronze.. n i guess.. even thou i've been holding back my tears.. its dis feeling tt hurts d most.. u juz wanna cry let.. yet.. u juz cant let it flow.. it hurts more den nething else tt i've occured or been thru.. but.. im glad tt at least i noe more or less how she feels.. its better 2 find out now den 2 find out later when d feelings really deepen 2 much.. 2 much 4 me 2 ever take back.. haha.. wait a min.. in reality, i cant pull my feelings 4 her back oready.. yet.. haiz.. nvm.. Life still goes on.. n i noe tt its part n parcel of life.. but i juz wish tt sum1 could stop dis ever growing pain n suffering.. its worse den nething i've ever felt b4.. but.. yeah.. i think i'll get over it.. thou not now.. but in future.. juz give me tym.. im glad tt she was honest enuf thou.. honest enuf 2 at least noe more or less abt it.. oso really thankful tt she still takes me as her di n fren.. i promise tt no matter wad it is, i'll still b here 4 Reina.. no matter wad happens,even when everybody turns away frm her.. i'll still b here.. so Reina, if ya r reading dis.. Thanks 4 everything.. i think u understand wad i mean lah.. n.. noe tt no matter wad it is, i'll oways b here 4 ya.. 24/7.. take it as im ur guardian angel on earth.. Live Life To The Fullest! God Bless 2 all on earth.. hope i can really move on.. n live 2 my own motto.. ;p

2004-03-21T19:28:00.000+08:00

heys.. wish i could b more happy n lively in my opening but im really quite depressed n scared.. coz yesterday, d posting came out n i wasn't thrilled abt being posted 2 TPJC lah.. i really thot tt i would b posted 2 ACJC lah! damn it.. haiz.. oh well.. neway, i've oready appealed.. so im lyk crossing my fingers n praying tt i really make it 2 ACJC.. really love ACJC n well.. actually wanna get in dere not only coz of d sch but mainly coz of a certain sum1 lah.. i think she noes who she is oso.. but if she doesn't den nvm.. well.. TPJC is really damn stupid lah! ask me 2 bring $60 4 tml! its so EXPENSIVE lah! n thot ACJC was xpensive! shit man.. neway, yesterday was oso d last X country race 4 every1 4 dis yr.. it oso represents d last tym tt d J2s n some J1s r gonna run 4 ACJC.. really gonna miss every1.. xpecially d seniors who were oways dere.. but d J1s too as they hv made really gd frenz even thou they suan me alot.. but.. it doesn't really make a dif as i dun even noe whether i can even it back 2 ACJC lah.. really wish 2 go back.. heex.. its damn wonderful dere in ACJC n i wanna b in ACJC 4eva lah.. continue my ACS education life.. making it 12yrs in ACS by d end of J2! neways, life has been quite weird lah.. been arguing wif my parents coz of d posting thing.. n i really wish tt they could b more understanding coz i oready m feeling damn depressed n dwn by d fact tt im not posted 2 ACJC yet they r still so pessimistic n constantly putting me dwn.. making me feel even worse den i oready m feeling! darn it lah.. even when i m sick, they think i purposely saying tt coz i dun wanna go 4 it.. haiz.. dunno wads wrong wif dem lah.. actually, all these in a minor problem.. wad really concerns me is wad Reina thinks abt me.. tt, i m really concerned abt.. funny rite? yeah well.. i dunno y, but it has bcome d thing tt is most important 2 me now.. haha.. den its funny y pple ask me how come im lyk tt.. well.. isn't d ans obvious? its simply coz i lyk her alot lah! really lyk Reina alot lah.. but.. oh well.. really dunno how she feels.. neway.. will c how it goes.. hope i get my appeal in2 ACJC accepted.. n.. i pray tt i noe how she feels soon enuf.. it doesn't matter whether its gd or bad, i juz wanna noe.. well.. actually i would understand y she wouldn't accpet me.. d fact tt im younger, tt im not gd looking n other minus abt me.. so haha.. juz c how it goes lah.. neway.. till den.. hope i can juz Live Life To The Fullest! ;p

2004-03-19T20:14:00.000+08:00

wow.. it was such a mixed feelings kinda day.. dunno wad 2 feel leh.. Chinese ORchestra was so damn bloody boring 2day.. spent d whole tym day practicing by my lonesome coz most of d section didn't come while d others really suck or were slacking off sumwhere as well as chatting wif every1 else n trying 2 liven up d whole damn CO.. gosh.. if dis goes on.. i'll die lah.. really muz form a ccommittee by myself n give a proposal 4 revampment 4 d CO! haha.. Kelly damn funny lah.. try 2 snatch my fone away frm me n run.. wah lau.. RUN! haha.. neway, didn't manage 2 get far lah.. but had 2 bully her in2 giving it back 2 me.. neway.. X training seems so sad too lah! only 2 guys went 4 training! n oh.. check dis out.. 4 gals 4 training! its really so sad 2 watch lah! den in d end, out of dunno how many pple in d X team, only 6 went 4 training 4 ACJC X team.. haiz.. we muz all b damn tired.. neway.. it doesn't matter lah.. soon enuf, every1 will b back 2 strength n hopefully start coming! neway, deres a race tml.. which i hv no idea y lah.. so screwed up rite? put a X country race lyk 2 wks after d end of d season?! haha.. well.. went out wif lyk sum pple in my OG 2day, n it really disturbed me tt Elizabeth who joined us 4 awhile supported my fren whom she juz got 2 noe 2day instead of me during bowling.. yeah.. it kinda disturbed me n affected my performance lah.. m i tt lousy a person? hmm.. i dunno.. haiz.. neway.. Valarie kinda got rejected lah.. n i really feel bad 4 her.. really hope tt she can brace herself n pull thru coz she's a really good n close fren.. 1 tt oways hear my problems.. well.. yeah.. she feels heartbroken lah.. but.. i've or at least im doin my best 2 help her.. well.. i dunno lah.. can oways help me fren n other pple wif their affairs of d heart.. yet i suck horribly at settling my own! yeah.. m still wondering how d 2 gals feel abt me lah.. actually in actual truth n in reality.. i only wanna noe wad Reina thinks abt me n feels abt me.. or at least her impression lah.. coz.. at dis moment or rather 4 d past 2-3 mths.. tts wad has been d most critical thing in my life.. or rather.. its d thing tt i wanna noe d most.. no offence 2 meiyi lah.. its not tt i dun care abt her feelings.. but guess.. in reality, d person whom i care 4 n means d most 2 me rite now is still Reina.. but.. unfortunately 4 me.. i seriously think tt she doesn't blieve me n still doesn't trust my feelings 4 her.. haiz.. is it so hard 2 understand tt i wun cheat gals of their feelings? n xpecially those or d 1 whom i really lyk?! damn it lah.. i dunno how 2 convince her nemore.. d feeling really sux rite now.. coz after all tt i've done, i think Reina still doesn't get how i feel abt her.. xpecially when d feelings r genuine n definately sincere.. haiz.. lks lyk i've 2 go back n start 2 think n drain my mind again.. think of a way 2 convince her.. haiz.. juz pray tt i dun hv 2 sacrifice my life 4 it, coz den.. it'll b meaningless when i die only 4 her 2 realise it once im dead.. yeah.. im praying tt i'll b able 2 convince her soon enuf coz she's all tt matters rite now.. *Live Life To The Fullest!*

2004-03-18T19:42:00.000+08:00

OMG! haha.. i juz read my previous blog entry tt i entered at d beginning of day.. n boy oh boy, its full of gibberish! oh well.. but cant blame myself.. considering tt i was oready woosy frm d fact tt i only had lyk 3 hrs of slp btw 2 days! haha.. neway.. damn tired lah! haha.. now tt i slp 4 another gd 3 hrs, i feel so much better n very much awake oready.. shucks.. i realsied tt i've gotta made a choice btw d 2 gals soon.. not lyk it would help me much if both didn't lyk me or didn't give me a chance thou.. furthermore, its not lyk i dun wanna make my decision rite now, but its juz tt i really dunno how both of dem feel abt me.. as in, i dun even noe wads their honest impression of me.. needless to say, who noes wad r their feelings 4 me?! damn it lah.. i feel so weighted dwn rite now, not juz stressed but rather lyk i've got no idea wad 2 do.. n juz so tired.. feel lyk shit sia.. haiz.. really wish tt i could juz noe a little bit of wad they think of me.. but.. haiz.. 4get it lah.. neway, when it comes dwn 2 dis kinda situation, i juz hv 2 sit dwn n adopt d wait n c approach loh.. afterall, im so useless oready.. cant do nething more but juz b sum1 dere 4 dem 24/7..meanwhile, juz wrk on my screwed up studies, CCAs n other committments lah.. HECK! how do d hell do all tt if all i can think abt is juz d problem n d 2 of dem?! grr.. mayb im juz goin psycho lah.. dreaming tt sumday reina mite actually lyk me while hallucinating tt sumday Meiyi n I juz mite hv a chance 2gether.. wad if i really had 2 choose btw both 1 day? well.. lets juz wait n c lah.. thou in my heart i kinda oready noe d ans but dun wanna say it out yet till everything is confirmed n coz i dun wanna cause nemore misunderstandings.. hell.. really lyk Reina alot thou.. but.. haiz.. juz really dunno wad does she think or how she feels.. Meiyi? i dunno lah.. shes sum1 special 2 me.. but.. dun think she will ever give me a chance.. so.. c how lah.. gotta get back 2 settling stuff liao.. haiz.. i pray tt i can hv a peace of mind.. Live Life To The Fullest! ;p

2004-03-18T11:44:00.000+08:00

woah! juz got back frm X chalet.. n man.. im feeling really shagged! haha.. had lotsa fun dere, eating, playing.. n.. my omost favourite.. gossiping! haha.. had lots of everything dere! neway.. it really was great 2 c so many pple frm d same CCA gathered at 1 grp.. it helped in d team bonding.. haha.. dere was of course certain tense moments such as tt when Kenneth got drunk.. wah lau.. made all of us ah.. got on tip toes lah.. was so afraid of saying d wrong thing.. u could cut d tension wif a knife! hmm.. well.. everything was getting better when Kenneth went 2 d toilet.. until.. Lucas had 2 say smething wrong lah! wah lau.. its not really his fault n its 4 kenneths concern tt he said it.. but.. boy oh boy.. did it set d bomb off! Kenneth quickly flew in2 a rage n nearly beat Lucas up! aiyo.. so damn scary lah.. but.. Elayne, Zhi Yang, Elizabeth n me.. kai si lah.. pretend.. den 'continue' playing mahjong thruout d whole drama! but.. constantly keeping an eye on d movie! haha.. neway.. den... found out dis really huge scandal btw 3 X seniors.. aiyo.. its so complicated! i seriously give up thinking abt it lah.. neway.. it was so great tt i did not slp a wink at all! haha.. neway.. thruout d whole nite, i guess, i was able 2 take sum quiet tym 2 think things thru in my mind abt my life n well.. mainly my feelings 2wards d 2 gals.. Reina n Meiyi.. haha.. i noe tt both of dem is able 2 read my blogs online.. but i guess.. its d best possible way 2 xpress my concerns n thots tt i've got at d moment of tym.. neway.. after sum thorough thinking.. i've finally come 2 d realization as 2 y m i so confused.. basically, i lyk both gals so very much.. 1 since 2 yrs ago, n d other, juz dis yr yet she has made a strong impact on me.. well.. i've gotta admit tt both r really special gals in my life tt i would gladly hv taken as my wife.. however, d problem is tt i've no idea, who is it tt im gonna choose in realtiy.. well.. im really confused coz i've nv been able 2 find out wads was Reina's feelings nor her impressions of me! it is dis particularly dis uncertainity tt has made me so pessimistic abt dis relationship as well as made me hv so mcuh confusions.. y? coz.. simply, i honestly dunno d stand of Reina.. indeed, it is a near miracle wish 2 pray tt Reina lyks me 2.. but.. d qs is.. does she? i dunno n i dun think i ever will b able 2 make her lyk me.. Meiyi however is easier in d sense tt she juz tells me how she feels abt me n her problems.. 4 xample, oready beginning or d year, she told me tt she wanted 2 complete her 'O's b4 we had a chance.. while i study my best 4 my gd results.. thus im waiting patientiy 4 her.. n by giving me a stand, she has in tt b value n presented a clear line as where i stand in her heart n in her life.. it makes things easier 4 both of us as it has enabled me 2 establish where n when 2 X d line.. however, d thing is tt Reina has not given me any clue of how she feels abt me or her thots abt me.. coz i really lyk her alot.. yet. its d uncertainty tt has made me feel insecured n super afraid tt if i were 2 go wif my heart, i would get really heart broken when i get rejected.. wadeva it is, i will do my best in everything lah.. including dis relationships.. but d 1st thing i hope 2 accomplish is establish an understanding wif Reina so tt i noe at least where i stand in my life.. do take care ok.. get a gd rest 2day! Jia You! Live Life To The Fullest! *Hugs*

2004-03-16T21:22:00.000+08:00

Finally its d holz! yeah! haha.. alas.. its all ruined.. wad was meant 2 b a wk long of refreshment, rejuvination n rest.. is turned.. 2 a wk long filled wif studies, training n practices! haha.. its not tt bad actually! haha.. coz i love trainings! haha.. get 2 c a certain sum1.. however, in truth, im quite confused rite now.. well.. my mind is in a whirl coz of 2 gals whom r special 2 me.. well, 1 gal in ACJC n same CCA as me.. n.. well, d other is another gal whom i hv had feelings 4 2 years oready.. hiaz.. well, it goes lyk this, d gal in ACJC, im not really sure how she feels abt me n well, as far as i noe, she juz wans 2 get 2 noe me better as a fren.. n d other, i've gotta wait until she finishes her relationships wif her 9 bfs! haha.. mainly, they r all books! haha.. which means.. i've basically got 2 wait 4 her 2 finish her 'O's.. haiz.. well.. both ways, i've got to wait.. but wad should i do? wait 4 which 1? haiz.. recently, i juz constantly spoke 2 d other gal, k.. her name is Meiyi lah.. n after talking 2 her.. it made me realise tt i actually lyk her more den i ever thot.. 2 yrs b4, i knew her in a joint production btw MGS n my sch.. n she was in d cast while i was in d crew.. in tt sense, i got 2 noe her.. haha.. it was her honesty n willingness 2 xpress her true self tt attracted me.. hmms.. den she helped me in 1 of my relationship, n in truth, at tt tym, i wanted 2 b wif her instead of my stead, but d tym juz wasn't rite n she was wif dis other guy.. in d end however, tt relationship tt we were both in failed lah.. but tts history.. now, we r both single.. but.. again, i hate d tym n situation thing as she gotta study 4 her 'O's n well.. i gotta survive my 1st yr n basically sort out my thots 1st.. haha.. hmm.. i dunno leh.. i really lyk both of dem n both r special 2 me in my heart.. its qutie scary.. haha.. even Meiyi finds d fact tt i lyk her so much very scary.. but honestly, wad can 1 do 2 control his/her feelings? i honestly dunno.. hope tt sum1 out dere is able 2 help me out n give me sum suggestions.. haiz.. really so confused! neway.. nxt wk is d beginning of a new term n well.. i hope tt i got enuf strength n stamina, as well as focus 2 carry on thru d 10 wks so as 2 do well 4 my 1st Term exams! haha.. oops! i hvn't even started on my Education package 4 GP! im so screwed! haha.. better get dwn 2 it soon.. hmm.. haha.. k.. cya den..

2004-03-09T20:14:00.000+08:00

wow.. ACJC rocks man! haha.. but its so sad.. Term 1 is oready coming 2 a close n i've no idea whether i can stay on.. really crossing my fingers.. *crossing fingers* well.. so much has happened here at ACJC in d 1st mths n dere has been a whirlwind of activities! haha.. orientation, Founders Day and X Country Nationals etc.. so much.. haha.. well.. been here 4 lyk 2+ mths n i guess i noe quite a no. of pple n its quite scary xpecially when u get pple whom r absolutely strangers coming up 2 u n saying Hi.. but oh well.. i guess im guilt of doin d same 2! haha.. well.. Founders Day was so darn boring but.. hmm.. it reallt instilled dis sense of pride n strengthen my pro ACS feelings! haha.. im lyk goin.. ACS FOREVER! haha.. neway.. X country rulz! *smiling sheepishly* i noe tt im such a slacker n such a useless person in X but really love d CCA so very much lah.. d trainings r tough n constant.. when u do it, u keep asking urself, 'y m i doin dis?'.. yet.. at d end of it.. u hv a strong sense of accomplishment n while.. d passion 4 d CCA juz keeps getting stronger wif each training! i really love ACJC X Country! haha.. really wanna train n do much better in future.. hopefully, soon enuf, i can lyk get much better timing n stamina.. den can lyk break in2 at least d 2nd team lah! well.. at d Nationals.. dere was a mixed feeling.. both joy n sadness in my heart.. Joy coz d gals team improved n got 4th! haha.. sum1 did really well! haha.. was so happy 4 her! haha.. she was really great..n her timing oso improved! haha.. but.. haiz.. i guess d sadness overshadowed d joy as we lost d championship 2 RJC.. it was really so painful 2 watch.. d X team worked so hard.. gave so much of their tym, energy, strength n juz gave their all.. yet.. haiz.. we oso went in wif high hopes.. but oh well.. its by God's will.. n wadeva it is.. dis xperience thou painful will b a valuable 1.. but im sure tt its wif dis obstacle tt d X team will prevail over n improve over tym! JUST GIVE! haha.. well.. i m gonna miss d present X team as d hands r gonna b passed over 2 d present J1s soon.. n it means.. r really drastic.. haiz.. nvm.. im sure tt d bonds r tighter den tt n we will all come back 2gether sum day.. haha.. neway.. 1AA2 is a great class 2 b in! haha.. d best Arts class ever! haha.. but so many of us r leaving.. its quite sad really.. xpecially when we hv oready been thru 2+ mths 2gether.. gone thru Fun-O-Rama n other special events.. haiz.. oh well.. but im sure tt no matter wad.. we would oways remember each other as we will oways be.. Friends 4EVA!

2004-03-06T19:58:00.000+08:00

Hiya! its my new blog! haha.. nv did this b4 but willing to give it a try so as to let pple update abt me juz in case im too busy as i've been recently! haha.. anyway, i'm a outgoing guy lyk every1 should noe by now n really crazy at tyms (haha.. ask those who noe me!) well.. n hmm.. guess im juz lyk really responsible.. or rather overly responsible, that is y lotsa pple will perceive me as xtra coz i lyk 2 help out n do my outmost best when it comes duties n stuff which requires volunteers n responsibilities.. haha.. well.. i oso LOVE sports so very much! xpecially.. Basketball and running! haha.. i've got my own basketball team n m oso in X Country! haha.. its so cool 4 both.. but now i Love running more coz.. hee hee.. got xtra motivation! well.. m really sad tt ACJC didn't win d championship dis yr but hey.. im sure tt we'll wrk hard n get it back nxt yr! JUST GIVE! oh.. was oso in Swimming n badminton b4 2! haha.. was invited 2 7 sports CCAs once.. but rejected dem coz off tym committments.. but oh well.. neway, oso m a little musically inclined i guess.. learnt d Piano b4.. well.. n im in d Chinese Orchestra too.. played d erhu (u noe, d instrument tt sounds lyk kiiling of ducks?) n was even d chairman of it in Sec Sch! haha.. cool rite? hmm.. can oso handle media stuff pretty well coz was oso in Media resource in Sec sch.. haha.. hmm.. n well.. born on d 21st January is a plus n minus coz i get 2 get d fringe benefits of my age faster yet i oways will hv 2 take d stoopid NAPFA wif harder qualifications! Harder 2 get my GOLD! grrr... neway, i hope i can get back 2 ACJC coz.. it ROCKS! i LOVE ACJC! haha.. hmm.. deres nothing much else lah.. but i guess pple think im a casanova..but.. its.. NOT TRUE k?! im serious when i really lyk 1 gal.. i'll stick 2 her! i guess i've proven tt b4.. but neway.. im single again.. hopefully.. d gal i lyk will respond soon.. haha.. neway.. my 2 mottos in life is.. 'Never Give Up and Just Give!' as well as.. 'Live Life To The Fullest!' Always looking on d bright side of life xcept during certain lapses.. oways d emotional guy whom everybody wouldn't believe tt i would b so sensitive.. oh well.. xpecially when im better known as a tough guy more constantly.. haha.. neway.. will oways b dere 2 help pple out.. so if ne1 needs nething.. juz buzz me! take care pple! keep smiling! ;p